Buckle TF Up ‘Cos The New Season Of Beauty & The Geek Will Feature A Legit Professional Mermaid

host of Beauty and the Geek 2022 Sophie Monk wearing a white dress and saying "are you ready to fkn rumble"

UPDATE — Thursday 30 June, 2022. Grab your tissues and start planning your snacks because we finally know when the new cast of Beauty and the Geek Australia 2022 will be gracing our screens.

Channel Nine has confirmed the new season will kick off on Sunday 17 July at 7pm, which means there’s less than a month until we meet our gorgeous geeks and bewitching beauties.

But you don’t need to wait until next month to learn about this season’s contestants; Channel Nine has also dropped a few sneaky details about them and they seem like a hoot and a bloody half.

In the geek department, there will be a trainspotter (Francis Bourgeois 2.0, I’m hoping), a die-hard Potterhead, a martial arts ninja and even a goddamn crypto trader. I’m sensing some bonkers conversations about NFTs on the horizon.

The beauties will include dancers, hairdressers and a professional mermaid, a career I simply must know more about.

I am gagging for the crypto trader and mermaid to shack up together. Sophie Monk, we’re rooting for you to work your matchmaking magic here.

“Australia is going to fall in love with our new beauties and geeks, who are the most adorable people in the world,” Monk said.

“And trust me, there are some major sparks flying around this season.

“It will be the sweetest thing you’ll ever see.”

I am also predicting some spicy scenes this season because there’ll be a new life-swap challenge, which means the couples will pull a Freaky Friday and switch lives for a day.

Will we see a geek clock on for his mermaid shift at the ocean, wearing a saucy little seashell bikini and scaly tail? And will we see a beauty trading NFTs? Only time will tell.

ORIGINAL — Wednesday 22 June, 2022. We already knew a brand new season of Beauty and the Geek was on the cards for 2022 but the first promo has dropped and we have chills. It was one minute and forty seconds of pure joy, happiness and adorable theatrics, with geeks preparing to ride into battle, happy tears and couples smooching in medieval knight costumes. Not to mention, this season’s Beauty and the Geek cast seem, quite frankly, simply delightful.

Although there’s a lot we don’t know about this season, the preview has answered burning questions such as: “will Sophie Monk be hosting season two?” and “will there still be makeovers?”

So, if you’re chomping at the bit to find out what the go will be on this season of Beauty and the Geek, look no further.

Beauty and the Geek Australia 2022: What we know so far

Beauty and the Geek 2022 trailer

Ah, Beauty and the Geek. We’ve always loved you for your obscenely staged introductions, batshit challenges and stereotypically dorky dress ups. And judging by this season’s promo, you’ve delivered the goods again.

Look, I’m just going to say it. Having one geek yell: “Geeks, let’s go!” and then showing another one bung nasal spray up his schnoz (more on this below) is impeccable comedic timing. We need to get the editor of the Beauty and the Geek preview to the SNL writers room, stat.

We had beauties fanging it across a field, carrying fake, life-sized human dolls clad in camo. A couple twerked in front of Big Ben. A geek wearing a Hogwarts jumper and Doctor Harry cap confessed he’s never been kissed. In other words, the whole kit and kaboodle of sweet and wholesome television.

And to top it all off, the promo is set to the soothing sounds of Vance Joy, otherwise known as the king of producing music for reality television commercials. I hope Channel 9 has the man on a retainer because he simply never misses.

Who’s hosting Beauty and the Geek?

Queen of Australia Sophie Monk will be returning to Beauty and the Geek to fulfil her vital and fearless role as host.

But hosting responsibilities aside, I’m looking forward to seeing Miss Monk’s cute wardrobe. I spied with my little eye a daring camouflage and dog tag number, as well as a dreamy white and blue set. Fashion icon, who?

Sophie Monk
Slay, Miss Monk! (Nine)

Monk’s trademark silly sausage (endearing, not derogatory) antics appeared to be in full swing in the promo, with one shot showing her wielding a smoke gun and accidentally pulling its trigger.

“Fuck!” she said.

“Oh my god, sorry.”

A national treasure, I tell you.

Cast of Beauty and the Geek Australia 2022

Just like season one, season two will also have 10 beauties and 10 geeks. Specific details about the Beauty and the Geek cast haven’t been released just yet but but if the promo is anything to go by, this is one gorgeous group of guys and gals.

We have a geek wearing binoculars proudly riding a tank, fist-pumping the air. Seconds later, another geek wearing an army helmet squirted nasal spray up his nose. From one allergy sufferer to another, it just felt nice to see that kind of representation on television, you know?

geek on beauty and the geek australia 2022 spraying nasal spray up his nose
Me too, king. (Nine)

But wait! Who are these ladies walking whimsically through the woods? It’s none other than a bountiful bunch of beauties, glistening in the sun as they search for their sweet yet dorky Prince Charmings. As season one showed us, the beauties were sweet, empathetic and often relatable to boot. And the girlies cast in Beauty and the Geek 2022 are no exception.

“My boobs are DDs so they each weigh the size of a fully grown chicken,” one beauty said.

“It’s like I’m walking around with two chickens.”

So true, bestie.

Will makeovers be back on Beauty and the Geek?

You bet your bloody ass they’ll be back! I don’t know about you but I am not remaining calm at the prospect of witnessing such divine glow ups. Based on these two beauties’ reactions to a certain geek’s makeover, I don’t think they remained calm, either.

two beauties screaming on beauty and the geek australia 2022
I’m shaking already. (Nine)

I still haven’t emotionally recovered from the makeovers we saw in Beauty and the Geek 2021. I screamed when they cut angel on earth Kiran Rao‘s hair. I would let yassified George Goldfeder throw champagne in my face. And don’t even get me STARTED on Jackson Palmer‘s post-show glow up.

I still don’t understand why Mitchell Berryman never got a makeover but here’s hoping the producers will be kinder and more benevolent to this season’s cast.

Until Beauty and the Geek Australia 2022 hits our screens, you can relive the magic of season one on 9Now.