I am an absolute fiend for a spoiler. I love ’em. I’m that person who jumps onto Wikipedia during a movie to see who the killer is ‘coz I can’t handle all the goddamn suspense.
But sadly I don’t have the luxury of Wikipediaing who wins The Bachelorette so I’ve had to resort to astrology to figure out who wins Angie’s heart.
Full disclaimer: I’m looking at this from an astrological point of view and telling you which bloke would best suit Angie as a partner.
So I’m not so much predicting who will win, but rather who should win based on the compatibility of their signs.
I’ve channeled (read: emailed) my spiritual sources (read: Ten’s PR) to figure out the star signs of Angie and her suitors and they are as follows:
- Angie – Aquarius: The independent, assertive, analytical qween of the zodiac.
- Timm – Pisces: A social boi who is kind, compassionate and in touch with his feels.
- Carlin – Leo: A natural born leader, addicted to the limelight and being the centre of attention.
Interestingly, both Timm and Carlin’s zodiac signs are relatively compatible with Angie’s, which is a good sign.
If either of them had been, say, a Scorpio or a Taurus then I’d be gravely concerned for Ang but I reckon she’s chosen quite well here.
That being said, one bloke is more destined to end up with Angie so let’s delve into just who that is by analysing both blokes’ compatibility with our Aquarian bb, shall we?
Angie and Timm
On paper, these crazy kids don’t really have all that much in common. She’s water, he’s air. What happens when it’s windy at the beach? CHAOS.
Why the hell am I discussing their elements? Well, because this usually indicates how people are built.
Angie, an air sign, is ruled by her head so she’s likely to make rational, well thought-out decisions. Timm, however, is a water sign which means he’s ruled by his heart and is v. sensitive and emotional.
Is this a bad thing for a relationship? Not always.
Timm would definitely benefit from Angie’s logical way of thinking and Angie should defs throw herself into a relationship and feel all the emotions rather than overthinking.
As long as they’re sensitive to each other’s needs and open to adopting a new mindset, I reckon they’ll be right as rain.
Angie and Carlin
Legit, once I found out that Carlin was a Leo, everything about this bloke made sense. ~Of course~ he’s an actor, he lives for the limelight.
But ya know who else was an attention-loving Leo? Matt Agnew, but his intentions were pure and I reckon so are Carlin’s.
Anyway, back to his compatibility with Ang.
His peacock nature and desire to constantly be basking in the glow of his mates very much contrasts with Angie’s modest, down-to-earth vibe.
Don’t get me wrong, the girl loves to have a good time but she balances this with her downtime whereas Leos generally don’t do well alone, which may be a problem ‘coz Ang loves her independence.
That being said, there’s a powerful attraction there that cannot be ignored and both parties are magnetically drawn to other in a way that few signs are.
Having analysed the star charts and foreseen what a relationship with either bloke would look like, it’s my consensus, based on astrological evidence, that Angie is best suited with (drum roll pls)
Look, I was totally gunning for Timm from the get go and I personally think he’s a top bloke, but I’m just concerned about one of the most emotional signs in the zodiac pairing with a rational Aquarius.
It could be a recipe for disaster.
Carlin, however, is a great fit for Angie ‘coz they’ll both bring out the best in each other.
Leo’s warm magnetism will perfectly offset Aquarius’ tendency to be overly cool and detached at times. His need for personal recognition as a Leo will be balanced by Angie’s humble nature.
In other words, they won’t be one of those attention-seeky Bachelor couples who would sell their respective mothers for an endorsement.
They’ll be the cuties who fill your Insta feed with cute but non-cheesy couple snaps.
Here’s hoping Carlin is the bloke Angie selects tonight ‘coz I foresee great things for these two.