As somebody with the tastebuds of a seven-year-old, I hate a lot of foods. Avocado? Chuck it in the bin. Bacon? Miss me with that shit. But there’s one food that I think cops a pretty unfair amount of hate and I simply cannot sit back and witness this utter disrespect anymore.
Turkish Delight fucking slaps and I cannot fathom how people don’t like it. It is the best choccie in the Favourites box, hands down.
Like every other child in the early 00s, I watched The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe more times than I care to admit. And every single time, it had me wanting two things: a portal in the back of my wardrobe that would transport me to a fantasy land with a talking goat-man, and a Turkish Delight.
Unfortunately, the real shit is pretty expensive, but that’s okay because the Fry’s chocolate bar is just as tasty, if not better.
Picture this: You’ve just finished school, you’re doing the weekly grocery shop with Mum and she lets you pick out a chocolate bar. As a child with a keen eye for some ~aesthetically pleasing~ packaging, your eyes dart straight to the iconic pink packaging of the Fry’s Turkish Delight.
You unwrap the glorious foil package to reveal a perfectly shaped piece of rose-flavoured jelly coated in Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate (aka – the good shit). You sink your teeth into it and experience the explosion of flavour, and from that moment on, you realise that Turkish Delight is the best chocolate bar in existence.
At this point you’re probably wondering why I’m so passionate about this bloody chocolate bar, but don’t worry, I’m about to spell it out for you.
They’re The Lovechild Of Two Childhood Faves
For starters, it’s the perfect combination of two of the best childhood treats, chocolate and jelly.
Upon first glance, it just looks like a boring ol’ chocolate bar, but after you bite through the thin layer of chocolate, your tastebuds are awoken by the sweet, rose-flavoured jelly goodness inside. Nobody wants to sit down with a whole plate of jelly, and let’s be real, plain milk chocolate isn’t exactly what dreams are made of. But combine the two and you’re left with an absolute masterpiece.
To quote our lord and saviour Hannah Montana, you get the best of both worlds.
They’re Always The Last Chocolate Left
I recently visited my parents for the first time since Christmas and I am not even slightly over-exaggerating when I say my mum gave me a bag filled with dozens of Turkish Delights she’d saved from Favourites boxes for me.
The main perk of being a Turkish Delight truther is that they’re never in short supply. And, if you’re as lucky as me, your mates might even save them for you next time they’re given a box of chocolates.
This doesn’t mean you have to solely eat Turkish Delights, but when the other good shit like the Boosts and Picnics are gone, you won’t be stuck eating a gross Moro bar and can instead enjoy the refreshing flavour of a Turkish Delight.
They Make You Feel Like A Real Adult
Despite being a combination of two iconic childhood foods, eating a Turkish Delight really makes you feel ~sophisticated~. Nothing says “I am an adult with a mature palate” quite like asking your mate to pass you a Turkish Delight from the box of favourites at your next dinner party.
This falls into the category I like to call ‘Faux Adulting’. You’re still stuffing your face with chocolate, but it’s slightly classier that bingeing a whole block of Dairy Milk.
It’s The Healthiest Chocolate, Which Means You Can Eat More
According to an extensive investigation by Gizmodo, Turkish Delight is the healthiest chocolate, with just 363 calories per 100g. Obviously, nobody is eating chocolate for the health benefits, but this means you can eat way more without massively exceeding your daily intake.
I’m not saying you should choose your favourite chocolate based on it’s caloric content, but considering it’s easily the healthiest, you should all stop hating on the poor Turkish Delight.
We Stan An Underdog
If you’re still not convinced that the Turkish Delight is the best choccie in the Favourites box, consider the fact that it’s the underdog. By no means does this make it the worst (I’d rather eat my own poop than eat a Moro), but it does mean that you get to be the chaotic bitch with unique taste at your next family barbecue.
Being a Turkish Delight truther gives you some great ammo to stir the pot at your next family dinner. If you’re sick of being asked why you’re still single over Christmas lunch, just shout about how Turkish Delight is the best chocolate in the Favourites box and everybody will be too distracted arguing about it to care about your love life.
Go on, treat yourself to a Turkish Delight.