There’s A “Premium” New Vegemite Flavour Aimed Exclusively At Huge Wankers

In addition to being the thing we love to force feed visiting celebrities, Vegemite has always been the salty-dark glue that has held this country together.

Yesss, eat the black goo my child.

Whether you’re a simple brickie or a top-tier lawyer, we all enjoy a knifeful of the good ol’ black stuff in the morning and I for one think that’s beautiful.

As we saw with the disaster that was ‘iSnack 2.0‘ (*shudders*), Vegemite is perfect the way it is, and does not need to be meddled with, improved upon, or changed in the slightest.

So why on bloody Earth have they gone and attempted it again, with a new “flavour” of Vegemite recently seen hitting supermarket shelves around the country, called Vegemite Blend 17.

Advertised as both “Bolder” and “Richer”, the limited edition run of Blend 17, comes in naff-looking gold adorned jars and are retailing for $7 for 150g which is about double what a regular jar would set you back.

Sounds bougie as hell if you ask me: a simple battler.

First reviews are hard to find as it’s only very recently started rolling out, however the ones we could find do not bode well:

“Acquired”? “Bitter aftertaste”? “Burst of aromatics”?

Is this a god damn whiskey tasting in the House of Lords or true-blue Strayan Vegemite we’re talking about here?

If you’re a one-percenter feel free to make up your own decision, with 450,000 jars of this ritzy, la-dee-da monstrosity making its way around the country from this week.

I, however, will be over here eating ORIGINAL Vegemite, thinly spread on toasted plain white bread, like a true hero.