Eva Mendes has truly been a blessing the whole time she’s been living in Australia with her maybe-husband Ryan Gosling and their two kids. She’s gifted us with many stunning content moments and this week is no different. Mendes has bravely run the tourist gauntlet and tried Vegemite for the first time for all of us gremlins to lap up on Instagram.
It should come as no surprise that nobody showed her how exactly one should consume the yeasty spread because she just went in there, stuck her finger in a fresh jar and chucked a big glob of Vegemite right in her gob.
Babes no! Don’t do that to yourself! This is absolutely not how you consume this national delicacy!
She then tried to mask the overwhelming flavour with a couple of squares of Dairy Milk chocolate (yes, yum) but the choccy’s creaminess clearly didn’t cut through the acrid tang of the umami bomb that had just exploded on her tastebuds.
Someone should tell her about the Vegemite chocolate that Cadbury did way back in 2015 — bring that shit back, honestly.
Eva, my sweet naive darling, please let me prepare you our national dish the way it’s intended to be eaten. I will find the nicest, fluffiest white bread, lovingly toast it to perfection and then apply the adequate ratio of ‘mite to butter. You gotta get the balance just right to hit the buttery, tangy flavour of a perfect piece of Vegemite toast.
There’s truly nothing like it and you can eat it at literally any time of day. Breakfast? Yep. Lunch? Sure. Late-night snack when you stumble in home after a big night on the piss and you desperately need to replenish your salts? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Here’s hoping someone out there gives Eva Mendes the true Vegemite experience while she’s living here, it’s the least we can do for her.