For the small fee of $80 and a brief moment of time in the interminable span of your life, you can now make like Eva Mendes does every morning and wake up in a pile of your own drool on Ryan Gosling’s crotch simply by purchasing a pillow sporting the likeness of Ryan Gosling from a Melbourne gal spruiking her wares on Etsy. It’s practically the same thing, sure.
ViolentDelightsBrand are shilling the bespoke, one-of-a-kind, 100% polyester goods in the online crafternoon having discovered a conspicuous void in the lucrative body pillow market; that absence being the discernible lack of pillows with the exact same features as Ryan Gosling: 152cm in height, silky soft all over and willing to bend to your every whim, inasmuch as a pillow can. Apparently they’re also “perfect for support during pregnancy,” but will probably fall behind on alimony due to their inherent nature being that of a body pillow. [Sorry]
If waking up next to the same thing Eva Mendes does every day doesn’t grab your fancy, you can put yourself in Louis Tomlinson’s elfin shoes and choose a pillow that looks like Harry Styles.
Please note both the empty, overturned jar of Nutella next to the bed, and its status as a ‘single’.
via Etsy
Photo: Andreas Rentz via Getty
