Some news is so important that for every minute that passes by and that news goes unannounced absolutely nothing of consequence can or will happen, such is its import that it literally has the power to bring the world to a halt. This is one such piece of news. Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have done their baby hey girl a solid by giving her a name.

TMZ – more like TMI *high-fiving a million angels* – have obtained a copy of the Gosling-Mendes Baby’s birth certificate, almost certainly by nefarious means. 

That once private legal document, in which you clearly have a disproportionate amount of interest, reveals that the bae will respond to the name Esmerelda Amada Gosling until she reaches an age that grants her relative autonomy and decides otherwise. 

‘Amada’ is the name of a character Mendes played in We Own The Night, a Mark Wahlberg crime drama about two brothers on either side of the law yet bound by loyalty. A cursory glance at reviews indicate her performance – like the name, depending on your preferences; you do you – was “very good” and a “subtle scene stealer”. 

‘Esmerelda’ on the other hand is the name of a woman who fell in love with a hunchback or something, idk. Carry on.

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