Congratulations to human beings probably no different from you, Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling, who last week gave birth to a healthy baby girl they will love unconditionally irrespective of the high standards of beauty society will hold it to by virtue of her having objectively ~sexy~ parents. 

In a deft display of the secrecy that has become typical of her withholding all need-to-know information from you of late, Mendes delivered the inevitable successor to the ‘Hey Girl’ meme with aplomb last Friday September 12th and has literally been keeping it under wraps since; couple her recent secrecy with stringent denial of her pregnancy from the first trimester and the fact that you only really found out it seven months into term, and maybe it’s time you start reevaluating the esteem in which you hold Gosling and Mendes in your heart – they seem to have stopped caring about you at all 🙁

US Weekly exclusively confirmed the news, adding that Mendes went to considerable lengths to conceal her pregnancy (“several pieces of clothing and a large bag“), while Gosling “quietly stepped out to pump his own gas in L.A. on August 5th.” 

I guess this is growing up. Congratulations, everyone.

Photo by Sonia Recchia/Getty Images