McCain Foods (who you may know from their absolutely kickass supreme pizza) and Vegemite (who you’ll remember from your brekkie this morning) have teamed up to create something so unholy even Sam Smith refuses to acknowledge its presence. Introducing… cheesy Vegemite pizzas.

After trying to make Vegemite bolognese a thing, the mitey devils at Vegemite HQ have moved on to their next abhorrent idea: Vegemite pizzas. I appreciate that the Calabrian intern at Vegemite is infiltrating the brand with all of these Italiano ideas, but must we all suffer for it?

The two products hitting shelves are the Cheesy Vegemite Lil’ Pizzas and Cheesy Vegemite Pizza Pockets. I’m not going to lie, but the idea of a cheesy pizza pocket with a little bit of Vegemite smeared in it for sweetness doesn’t sound all that bad. I am trying so hard to not be entranced by this wicked creation. Stay BACK, devil!!!

The Lil’ Pizzas on the other hand sound like they’re designed for kids to snack on after school, which is cute. I thought we were trying to sneak veggies onto kids’ food, not Vegemite. Someone clearly misheard.

“The whole team and I are so excited about forging two of Australia’s most iconic food brands together for a snack that will be more iconic to Australia than kangaroos,” wrote McCain Marketing Manager Sara Black in a press release.

A bold claim indeed. I could see an argument for a jar of Vegemite replacing the kangaroo on the Australian coat of arms, but a Cheesy Vegemite Lil’ Pizza? I’m not sold just yet. Give it time to become iconic.

“Vegemite is thrilled to be partnering with McCain to make afternoon snacking that much mitey-er!” wrote Vegemite’s Marketing Manager Jessica Hoare in a press release.

Despite my scepticism, I’m actually really excited to try both of these snacks before deciding whether or not to tell my Nonna about them. She’s already frail as it is, I can’t go giving her a heart attack.

The Cheesy Vegemite Lil’ Pizzas and the Cheesy Vegemite Pizza Pockets are available now at your local IGA and will be launching in Coles and Woolies in late February.

Image: Getty Images.