Iceland’s President Is Sorry He Tried To Ban Pineapple Pizza In His Country

Fair play to the dude, if you or I were the President of an isolated and bitterly cold country you’d probably go drunk with power reasonably quick too. But at least Iceland President Gudni Johannesson has seen the light of day at long last.

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This particularly loose story goes that around two years ago, not long after taking office, Johannesson was fielding questions from High School students when one asked him to weigh in on the debate which has torn many a friendship and relationship asunder: Is pineapple on pizza an acceptable thing?

His response was swift, authoritarian, and indicated a man rapidly growing intoxicated by his newfound power. Or something like that.

He said he was fundamentally opposed to the concept of pineapple as a pizza topping and if he had the power to do so, he would ban the practice entirely.

A man with a desire for an iron fist, clearly.

In the years since then Johannesson has wound back his threats of evicting Hawaiian pizza from his Icelandic home entirely. Last year he attempted to pour water on the controversy by posting a statement to his official Facebook page where he both a) managed to convince zero people that he didn’t still secretly desire the power to jail anyone putting pineapple onto a pizza base for life, and b) offered his own bullshit and clearly criminal recommendations for pizza topping.

I like pineapples, just not on pizza. I do not have the power to make laws which forbid people to put pineapples on their pizza. I am glad that I do not hold such power. Presidents should not have unlimited power. I would not want to hold this position if I could pass laws forbidding that which I don’t like. I would not want to live in such a country. For pizzas, I recommend seafood.

SEAFOOD. Imagine electing a dude to the office of President and only afterwards finding out he sucks down prawn pizzys like a fucken crim. Unbelievable scenes.

Now, however, Johannesson has apparently cooled off somewhat, and has realised the error of his ways.

Speaking to Canadian radio show As It Happens Johannesson admitted regret in his previously bullish assertions, noting that while he certainly doesn’t agree with pineapple as a pizza topping, he is now willing to defend to the death his people’s right to eat it.

That’s where the influence of this office sort of, yeah, got the better of me. I went a step too far.

As much as I do not like pineapple on pizza, the individual freedom of having the topping of your choice overrides that.

Now that’s assertive, benevolent leadership right there. It’s ok to believe in your heart of hearts that pineapple is the devil’s pizza topping, but if the filthpigs you serve wish to sully themselves by ordering it, then more power to them.