Hot cross buns – a food as divisive as coriander, considered either a disgusting type of festive fruitcake, or a extremely wholesome Easter treat – are apparently already back on supermarket shelves, and FFS, it’s too soon.
[jwplayer pQz92zYI]
The buns, selling for as little as $3.50, have popped up in Coles stores in at least Melbourne, Sydney and Perth, and they’re spreading.
Only two more sleeps till we can buy hot cross buns.
— Patrick Williams (@PatrickWilliams) December 23, 2018
Easter 2019 isn’t until April 21, which means that we’ll be seeing more and more hot cross buns popping up everywhere, like some kind of weirdly Christian virus, for the next four months.
Their early return, well before the date reserved to celebrate Christ‘s resurrection, has been met with a mixture of glee and disgust, depending on if you enjoy eating the currant bun with a cross on it.
For my part, hot cross buns are terrible and I don’t like them – on the list of festive treats they come below even candied apples at Halloween, a food designed to tear your teeth out.
I think they should be off shelves for as long as possible so that none of my relatives serve them to me, expecting me to relish a food that sometimes has raisins in it. Give me a pavlova instead. Keep the gingerbread dream alive. And at least Chrissy pud has booze in it.
At Eastertime, just give me Darrell Lea nougat eggs, which SHOULD be sold year-round, not just in March/April and November/December to commemorate important dates for Jesus.
One Twitter user, Victoria, did try to explain why tf this happens every year, writing that “Hot cross buns cover a lot [of] skills bakery apprentices need to learn, this is why they get started now (you might notice some are not as good as others but by Easter they will all be perfect” .
https://twitter.com/drunkococo/status/1078207646144974848
Anyway, here’s some people weighing in on either side of this debate, ranging from people who write the sinister “It’s beginning“, a take steeped in fear, foreboding, to people thrilled about the possibility of microwaving a cold, stale Jesus bun in the microwave, wrapped in a paper towel, tomorrow if they feel like it.
It’s beginning https://t.co/qJRzzELuLX
— Dean Nye (@Dean_Nye) December 27, 2018
https://twitter.com/drunkococo/status/1078207646144974848
https://twitter.com/briannatravers/status/1078171857067495427
Happy Easter Everyone! From @Coles #birkenheadpoint. #abitearly #hotcrossbuns #dontwantnoneunlessyougotbunshun pic.twitter.com/z6tuZeCBn5
— Ray Elinon 🍡 (@ballast_point) December 27, 2018
What better way to prepare for the new year than with hot cross buns from @Coles #toosoon pic.twitter.com/Yy7g7at4CF
— Jacob (@MadMaxHeadroom) December 27, 2018
No! Surely not already?! #hotcrossbuns pic.twitter.com/FC5qhLfqAs
— Caron Lefever (@caronlef) December 27, 2018
Watching people lose thier shit of hot cross buns is hilarious! You people do realize you can but them year round without the cross? They’re called fruit rolls or chelsea buns… seriously, y’all habe hang-ups#hotcrossbun #calmyourfarm
— Dave (@chef09876) December 27, 2018
I personally find it funny that people get worked up because hot cross buns are already in shops. The simple solution if you’re worried by it…don’t purchase them and jog on! Simples!
— Matt Hope (@MattHope4) December 27, 2018
https://twitter.com/kateiselin/status/1078186633340510208
Not sure why people complain when hot cross buns come out early!! I wish they were on the shelves all year round 🤤 https://t.co/3ObiSH1keY
— Monique Boord 🧠 (@MoniqueBoord) December 27, 2018
Why does everyone complain when supermarkets start stocking Hot Cross Buns a day after Christmas. The longer they’re in stores the better!!! #hotcross365
— TORREN FØØT (@torrenfoot) December 27, 2018
This bloke, Warren Penna, who spied some of the devil fruit buns in Coles on Boxing Day even got an explanation from the supermarket chain, who said that all stores will be stocking hot cross buns in early Jan.
Coles on Twitter wrote:
Our customers and team members love hot cross buns so much that all of our supermarkets will have these delicious treats from early January. As some stores are keen for the delicious scent of freshly baked hot cross buns to fill the aisles, some will start baking them from Boxing Day for their customers.
thanks for getting in touch with us, Warren. Our customers and team members love hot cross buns so much that all of our supermarkets will have these delicious treats from early January. 1/2
— Coles Supermarkets (@Coles) December 27, 2018
As some stores are keen for the delicious scent of freshly baked hot cross buns to fill the aisles, some will start baking them from Boxing Day for their customers. 2/2
— Coles Supermarkets (@Coles) December 27, 2018
I feel for the bakers, cursed to make only hot cross buns for the next four entire months.
Your move, Woolworths (they’re reportedly baking from January 2, the more you know).
https://twitter.com/patbcaruana/status/1078207700616396800
