Hot chips suck. There, I said it.
I’ve disliked hot chips all my life. Ever since I was a babe. It used to be my greatest shame, something I was embarrassed to admit for fear of judgement. But alas, I must stay true to myself.
The starchy, sometimes mushy texture of hot chips makes me cringe. I hate the way they feel against my teeth, and they’re honestly so bland. The only times I’ve ever eaten them have been when I’m either desperately starving, have heaps of sauce on the side, or feel guilty about wasting food because I forget to take them out of my burger order.
Of all the ways we can enjoy the humble and delicious potato — hash browns, curly fries, tater tots, wedges but specifically with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce, etc — why have we as a society decided to settle on hot chips as the preferred and most accessible side?
Most of the time, either hot chips come in the French fry style, which basically makes them salty sticks, or they’re overly thick and weirdly soggy. It’s honestly such a mammoth effort to even find hot chips that aren’t, well, kind of icky, and on the off chance you do find somewhat decent ones, they’re either overpriced or smell weird.
During a time where most places will sub the hideous, often mushy and way too starchy chips with the superior sweet potato fries, or even onion rings (literally the best side to be offered anywhere), I don’t understand how we haven’t transcended to a post-hot-chip era.
Sweet potato fries are way better – there’s a depth to flavour, they’re fine even once they get a little soggy, and they don’t make me want to gag when they’re cold and a little stale. I mean at this point, who needs those crusty slices of oily starch??
I’ve honestly never understood the appeal of hot chips, and I never will.