Salt and vinegar chips are nasty as fuck. There, I said it.
If I wanted to smell piss, I’d take a walk in Surry Hills and get it over with. When someone opens a packet of these abominations you can TASTE the stench three rooms away, and it honestly feels like a hate crime.
The acrid, rotten taste of vinegar amplified to hell and back with an ungodly amount of salt that evolution never meant for us to discover, this is truly Satan’s snack of choice and, unlike you heathens, I am a woman of God.
It’s just so unimaginable to me that some people can love this. I don’t usually kink-shame but if you like salt and vinegar chips, you should talk to your therapist to figure out why you want to punish yourself like this.
The smell gives my entire body a flight-or-fight reaction, and y’all are just out here consuming this for fun?? Please, love yourself. Eating salt and vinegar chips is a wholly unnecessary means of self-inflicted pain, and there are so many sexier forms of self-loathing.
Honestly, people keep telling me this is an ‘unpopular’ opinion but I just refuse to believe it because that would mean admitting that the majority of people are fucking unhinged, and I won’t do y’all dirty like that.
Some people say it’s an acquired taste, but I don’t see how admitting you have to slowly convince yourself to like salt and vinegar chips is going to convince me that it isn’t foul. Ask yourself this: if you have to actively force your body to adjust into accepting this flavour, is it actually good?
And before anyone tries me, I do like salty things. I can enjoy an acrid treat when in the mood, I don’t mind a little drizzle of vinegar in my food – but this? To pretend that the salt and vinegar flavour was ever truly meant for human consumption is a lie I can’t indulge.
Salt and vinegar is the foulest chip flavour to ever make it in the world, and it’s because of this atrocity that we are suffering in this cursed year of 2021. Rinse those nasty, greasy hands, repent, and repeat – and maybe humanity still has a chance.
