Everyone caught in throes of their first sharehouse will undoubtedly go through some culinary growing pains where a single pack of Mi Goreng is a normal three-course meal, or the sum total of a spice rack is one thing of cayenne, one thing of cloves (origin unknown) and a bunch of weed in an empty salt grinder. But there are limits, god damn it.
[jwplayer xs5x3l7T]
Unfortunately, the pinnacle of Clueless Single Bloke Aged 19-22 cooking may have been achieved through this unfathomably horrid photo of some guy’s chicken, as posted to Twitter by a rightfully appalled witness.
Brave soul Cori Healey, unable to endure the torture alone, posted the photo of her boyfriend’s housemate’s dinner: three unseasoned chicken breasts, broiling away on a bare oven tray, uncovered, slowly shrivelling with every horrifying second in the probably too-hot stove they linger.
Y’all wanna get upset by the lack of seasoning on my boyfriends roommates chicken with me pic.twitter.com/R72oHmAf3G
— Esmarelda Fitzmonster (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
Motherfucker what is that.
What is THATTTT.
I am DISTRAUGHT pic.twitter.com/NHh7DI7A3S
— Anustart (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
Christ. Shit. ASS.
How does that wind up looking like an impossible, endless void of nothing? A trio of beige holes into which all matter is consumed and eradicated? A terrible, awful window into a version of the great beyond none of us could’ve ever prepared for?
Or, to put it another way: That shit looks like three sets of dick and balls sheathed themselves in skin cocoons in order to become cock butterflies.
I’m not alone in thinking this either: The reaction from folks who have also had the misfortune of burning some of the finite looking time they have in their lives on this was unanimous.
Vegans Meat eaters
🤝
This bird died in vain https://t.co/86r0D8UNxs— harpie lady in the radiator (@Shower_Capy) January 8, 2019
I’m convinced that’s just clay and this is some sort of sick joke
— alex (@alexsnewname) January 8, 2019
https://twitter.com/TheAquariusBIG/status/1082483226394984449
i showed it to my family 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/6CemySVqY7
— vanessa 🦋 (@heyitsvness) January 8, 2019
— BonAppéDee | Hi I’m Dee | (@BonAppeDee) January 8, 2019
https://twitter.com/SpoilersSpoils/status/1082461659095068673
Mates, the bottom line here is very simple: No one expects you to be a three-hat chef by any stretch of the imagination. But if you’re not even clearing the culinary bar set dizzyingly low by The Castle, you’ve likely done yourself a huge mischief.
Seasoning. SEASONING. Just bung it on there, dumbasses!
