The Cost Of Living Crisis Has Gotten So Bad, Shrek’s Swamp Is Now Considered A Vacay Destination

Check up on that special Shrek stan in your life because the beloved ogre’s humble abode is available for stays on Airbnb, minus the onion carriage.

I’m just gonna say it: Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

That VCR literally babysat me as a child, and for the longest time, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to live in a makeshift tree trunk that has been converted into a liveable home.

Although I knew it wouldn’t be as glamorous as a penthouse stay at Lord Farquaad’s castle, I still thought it would be fun.

Thankfully, our annoying but loveable talking mammal and side character, Donkey, will be hosting Shrek’s Swamp for a limited time during Halloween via Airbnb.

(Image source: Airbnb)

In Shrek’s Swamp, guests can expect a “charming and cozy refuge”, all without the ramblings of angry villagers and ousted fairytale creatures.

“This mud-laden, moss-covered, murky-watered oasis is a perfectly snug spot to escape from village life and embrace the beauty of nature,” the listing reads.

“During their fairytale stay, guests can kick their hooves and feet up with a delicious parfait (everybody loves a parfait!), swap stories around the fire and enjoy a stack of Donkey’s famous freshly made waffles in the morning.”

The Swamp’s listing also notes that toilet, sink, and shower facilities will be located approximately 20 meters away from the rental. Get Shreked, if ya ask me.

Even though there are promises of no “torches and pitchforks”, I think that would really add to the experience. I’d also want two performances — one from the Fairy Godmother singing “Holding Out For A Hero” and Monsieur Hood with the Merry Men.

Unfortunately for Brogers (a nickname for Shrek’s Biggest Fans, according to the vacation rental company) who live Down Under, the Swamp is “nestled in the hills of the Scottish Highlands”.

But if you’re willing to spend some dosh on this far, far away stay, bookings for the Shre’s Swamp open October 14 at 4am Australia Eastern Daylight Time. Punters who are hoping to live like an ogre can only book the rental for up to two nights.

Also, the swamp is zero bucks a night!!! What a steal.

Shrek’s outhouse for your ogre-sized shits (Image source: Airbnb)

Since news broke of the eccentric Airbnb listing, many people have poked fun at the idea of staying there.

However, one X (formerly known as Twitter) user pointed out an interesting perspective on the exciting rental.

After infamous pop culture news account Pop Crave described the listing as a “luxury getaway”, Sarah Hagi (@KindaHagi) claimed using the word “luxury” was “insulting to [Shrek’s] struggle”.

Although I think the Xer post was satire, it definitely paints a new perspective on the Airbnb rental.

Actually, looking closely at those musty floors… it kinda looks like those properties on Shitty Rentals by Purple Pingers.

But nonetheless, I’m still kind of obsessed with this whole set-up. From the dirt floors to the signs that say “BEWARE OGRE”, my inner child is frothing it.

And again, you can stay in the swamp for the sexy price of zero bucks a night. With waffles and a parfait!!!

Image Source: Airbnb