INTERESTING: Tony Armstrong Has Spilled Some Tea About His Relationship Status

Tony Armstrong in a suit smiling and meme of Miranda Cosgrove smiling at a computer saying "Interesting" in Drake & Josh

It’s been a few days since Stellar Magazine dropped a sneak-peak of Tony Armstrong‘s first-ever magazine cover and sent the world — the world being me, specifically — into a tizzy. Well, the benevolent editorial angels published the full photoshoot and accompanying interview on Sunday and there is some stunning content in there, including some intriguing details about his love life.

First and foremost: the fashion. Give Stellar‘s stylist a raise, I say. The scrumptious purple tracksuit and orange bootie moment? The purple gingham coat? The brown leather jacket with a mint green trim, paired with white loafers? The perfectly tousled hair and groomed to the Gods moustache? That smile? I am obsessed.

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Secondly, the tea. Armstrong set the record straight on his relationship status — he is entitled to his privacy so he shouldn’t have to do this, but alas, he did.

Apparently there were whispers along the grapevine that Armstrong had a secret wife. But she is a mere figment of the rumour mill’s imagination.

“If I had a secret wife I’d been hiding all this time, do you think I’d tell you?” he told Stellar.

So true, bestie. I actually don’t know what I would do if I were famous and had an undisclosed spouse. It’s something I have never deliberated and suddenly feel quite stressed about.

Enough about me, though. Armstrong also admitted he’s not averse to booing up but the lucky duck needs to be one gorgeous gal.

“It’s got to be someone pretty special and I suppose I’ve got to be in a space where I can also give them what they need,” he said.

But what do you want, dear, sweet Tones? Penny for your thoughts?

“I don’t want anything… the only, you know, money worries I’ve got are, ‘Can I service my mortgage and live a life I want to?’ Everything other than that, I think, is superfluous,” he said.

“I’m just trying to remind myself to enjoy the ride and not buy into things when they’re going well. And not buy into it completely when they aren’t.”

A humble king dishing out monumentally wise advice. We are not worthy.

After seeing the words “Tony Armstrong” and “secret wife” in the same sentence, however, I think I’ve been launched into another tizzy-filled state.