A lot has been written already about that horrible editorial in ‘The Australian‘ that sort-of, kind-of but mostly not jokingly blamed the housing affordability crisis on how millennials love buying smashed avocado for breakfast.
It wasn’t 100% literal, but blaming the fact that houses just cost way, way more compared to the average income today than they did in the 1970s on the fact that we eat brunch is some tired-ass, ignorant shit that, frankly, sucks ass.
Luckily us filthy millennials have responded the only way we know how: by laughing and crying at the same time. These legends gave us these Trump-inspired avo hats, and now a bunch of Melbourne cafés are giving a discount on smashed avo brekkies so that we can all put that money away and instantly come up with the money for a house deposit.
For just $10 you could go to Little Big Sugar Salt in Abbotsford and get “The Retirement Plan”, Hawthorn Common for “The Baby Boomer” or Left Field in Carnegie for “The Corn-tract of Sale” (which comes with corn and salsa).
If you’re feeling like your deposit fund can spare the extra dollar, Mammoth in Armadale is doing “Avonomics”, avo toast with fermented chilli, green tomatoes and coconut toast.
The specials run from this Wednesday to Friday, so get in quick, friends. At this rate you’ll be spending $2.4 million on a 1.5 bedroom terrace house that’s only a 3 hour commute from your job.