ATTN SYDNEY: A Redfern Cafe’s Slinging 100% Free Smashed Avo Toast Tomoz

Because we haven’t heard enough of how much our ~careless spending~ on frivolous things like FOOD (how fuckin’ dare we want to eat), you can grab yourself a free dastardly smashed avo on toast in Redfern tomorrow morning on ya way to work, or uni, or the park, or whatever you’re doing, I dunno I’m not your Mum.

The nice folks over at Virgin Mobile have noticed that although it’s apparently millennials’ obsession with the mushy green stuff that’s stopping us from buying a house, we’ve not given up the holy Hass – so they wanna sling you some fo’ free.

They’re doing takeovers of three (3) cafes across SydneyMelbourne, and Brisbane over the next three Wednesdays, and tomorrow it’s all going down at Little Evie from 7.30am.

Bris and Melb, hold tight, you’ll get yours soon enough.

That’s right, the first 100 punters in the door will cop a free brekko for their troubles. It’s early, but I sure as shit don’t wanna have to mush up an avo with a fork while I’m trying to juggle doing 100 other things because I slept through my alarm again. Someone else can do it for me, thanks.

Bloody get it into ya, folks. Don’t listen to anyone who wants to shame you for your love of avocado, we know you got a heart of stone.