A list of the world’s sexiest bald men for 2023 has been published and it’s safe to say there was a glaring exception. Let’s chat through it and see where it all went wrong…
The study was conducted by a London-based marketing agency called Reboot and ranked each contender out of 10 based on a bunch of factors.
These included golden ratio facial proximity, shiny head factor, voice attractiveness, height, and global search interest (as in, Google search).
Of COURSE “shiny head factor” would be one of the considerations. The people want to see their reflections!
So who actually made the cut?
Clocking in at number one we have the Fresh Prince of Wales, Prince William scoring 9.88 and 37,000 fans per the study.
Full disclosure, I’ve got no personal vendetta against Willy, but he does seem like the sort of guy to only put butter on his toast.
I’m talking, butter and nothing else.
The previous year’s winner, Vin Diesel, dropped down to the silver medal spot with a score of 8.8/10.
Vin’s big win for the day was copping the highest “shine factor” of all contestants at 74%.
Former professional diver (yes, truly) and now Hollywood actor Jason Statham was third with 8.51/10.
Samuel L. Jackson snagged the fourth spot, missing out on a medal by ~that~ much.
The fifth place went to Amazon founder Jeff Bezos which genuinely makes no sense and everyone involved in this decision should be ashamed of themselves.
Rounding out the top 10 were Michael Jordan, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Shemar Moore, Shaquille O’Neal and Terry Crews … BUT NO STANLEY TUCCI???
It’s been a big week in the media for bald blokes, both by choice and otherwise.
After years of (arguably unfair) speculation, Harry Styles debuted a shaved head for the first time in his career.
Maybe he’ll make the list in 2050?