A big hello to all my pegging-curious friends. I welcome you to this safe space, I’m glad you’re here. By now, you would’ve heard about the sexual practice of pegging. Over the last few years, it’s become a bit of a buzzword online, and for a very good reason.
I’ll be honest with you, I am down to peg. But my partner doesn’t share the vision and I respect that wholeheartedly. However, on the very off-chance that he does change his mind one day, I want to be ready. I want to blow his mind and his bussy.
Anyway, to help you kinky readers be as ready as I want to be, I had a chat to sexologist and founder of sex toy concept store Posmo, Laura Miano, to create a cheeky guide to pegging.
If you haven’t already guessed, this article isn’t really safe for work so if you’re having a cheeky read at your desk, that’s on you, champ.
What is pegging?
According to Laura, pegging traditionally referred to “a cis-woman penetrating a cis-man anally with a strap on” but these days the definition is expanding to become more inclusive. So now, it pretty much refers to a “person with a vulva, wearing a strap-on and penetrating a person with a penis anally.”
Where did the term ‘pegging’ come from?
The term “pegging” was coined by sex columnist Dan Savage in the early 2000s after he asked his readers to give them a word to describe the act.
“This was when my column was only in print and every time someone said, ‘I’m a straight guy and I want to get fucked in the ass with a dildo,’ it took up a lot of space!” he told Buzzfeed News.
“Back in the day, you would cut ‘that’s and ‘the’s, anything to get it down to word count. That was the motivation. Here’s a twelve-word phrase I keep having to use. I want a one-syllable word for it. It needed a name, a short one, percussive, as with all good sex slang, and my readers gave it to me.”
Why is pegging on everyone’s sexual to-do lists these days?
Judging purely by how often I hear it spoken about in conversation at the pub, it seems like pegging is on the rise.
And there are ~a bunch~ of reasons why people are giving pegging a whirl.
First and foremost, getting pegged can be super pleasurable for men because it stimulates the prostate, a gland that sits between the penis and the rectum. The prostate is often referred to as the male G-spot, it’s a super-sensitive erogenous zone that can be easily accessed through anal play.
While this can be a spot sometimes forgotten by men in straight relationships, I’m told by penis owners that the big cummies from prostate stimulation is unmatched.
Another reason why pegging is being embraced is that it flips the gendered scripts often followed in the bedroom. For many women, the act of strapping on a dildo and being in control of your partner’s pleasure is empowering and exciting. Not to mention that it spices things up and adds variety to the boudoir.
Also, there’s no denying that pegging is having a moment. Just like how Sex And The City normalised rabbit dildos, a bunch of shows and movies are depicting the pegging process such as The Bold Type, Broad City, and even Deadpool.
But Laura reckons that the overarching reason is that cis-people people are challenging gender norms and roles.
“People are more open to exploring less conventional sex and anal sex is becoming more accepted among cis-men,” she says.
We love to see it!!!!
What sex toys do I need for pegging?
Okay, so you’ve decided that you’re keen to give it a crack – pun intended – but don’t know what toys to pick up? We’ve got you.
To get started, you’ll need lube, a harness, and a sex toy that is harness-compatible. Laura recommends the Posmo Fun Factory Harness and the Icicles Glass range for the toys, but there are countless companies that sell quality pegging essentials at a whole range of price points.
However, her one non-negotiable is a silicone-based lubricant.
“A silicone lubricant is the best option for anal sex as it has the longest-lasting power of all the lubes,” she says.
In fact, Laura has recently developed Australia’s first sexologist-created lube which launches next month. Pretty impressive, no?
Here’s what to know before pegging for the first time
If you and your partner are fanging for a pegging, here are some things to keep in mind.
Communication
First and foremost, it is important to both have informed consent before you head to the bedroom. Speak openly what you’re about to do: your wants, your limits, and any concerns you may have about the process.
“Discuss it with your partner, share with them your curiosities,” Laura advises.
“If they are also keen, enjoy the process of anticipation by discussing why you’re both interested.
“Find a good harness, dildo, and lube, and capitalize on this process by perusing your options together. Have a giggle at what you see along the way, talk about how you’d like to use certain dildos and use the experience to bond, laugh and connect.”
Relax and take it slow
Just like any form of sex, you can’t just get straight to it.
“Before you get to pegging, engage in all your usual pleasure activities – the usual outercourse and intercourse things you do,” she says.
When you get to the main course – AKA the pegging – remember to check in with each other.
“Pegging won’t be great if you’re riddled by anxiety and all in your head. So keep things fun and if you feel nervous, share that with your partner. Prioritise your connection throughout the experience!
“And don’t forget, always apply lots of lube.”
Aftercare
Aftercare is such an important part of any sexual experience but it’s especially important when you’re trying something new for the first time. People have different needs when it comes to aftercare, so whether it’s a cuddle, or just some time out, make sure your partner knows that they’re in a safe space and can ask you to accommodate for whatever their preferred aftercare technique is.
While you may be in a post-sex haze, don’t forget to give your toys a big ol’ sterilisation. You can find specific sex-toy cleaning products or chuck it in the dishwasher like Abbi did on Broad City. But be warned, she ruined a custom-made dildo that way so I’d be careful.
What position is best for pegging?
When there’s a will, there’s a way, and it turns out there are plenty of ways to give pegging a go.
“Lying down in a spooning position can be a great one for your first try – you’ll have lots of body contact which increases intimacy and comfort,” Laura explains.
“You can also try doggy style – this one is particularly great for those wanting to play with gender roles, due to the contrast in height and stance between the two partners.”
How do I talk about pegging with my partner?
Like any other sexual situation, communication is key. Laura suggests finding a private spot where you and your partner can have a good chat without any time constraints.
“Share your journey and how you came to form your curiosity – remember there’s nothing wrong with your desire for pegging,” she says.
“If you explain how you landed on it, it will help your partner to understand your perspective. For example, I saw an Instagram post about pegging and it sounded super fun! Give them a chance to share concerns, ask questions and make comments on the topic.
“Remember, nobody should be shamed throughout the process – they shouldn’t make you feel ashamed for expressing your interest and similarly, you shouldn’t shame them if they don’t feel ready to try it.”
Well, there you have it. Happy pegging!
