Sharknado has picked a new target and apparently it’s Inner West Sydney. Great, so now we have overpriced coffee, soaring house prices and sharks washing up on the street. Please, a break, I beg of you.
According to Reddit, Facebook and Insta a shark washed up on Grosvenor Street in Summer Hill. Here, take a gander yourself.
The shark was first posted on r/Sydney by user rustedfeathers. I thank them for their noble service to Inner West news.
“But PEDESTRIAN.TV,” I hear you say. “What if that is simply a fake pic and we have been hoodwinked by the people of the r/Sydney subreddit?”
I understand your concerns, my friends. But to add legitimacy to my dossier labelled Inner West Shark Evidence, different pics of the shark were also posted to a Summer Hill Facebook group.
Those pics were taken at a slightly different angle, leading me to believe that this shark is in fact legit and on the street(s) of Inner West Sydney.
“But how did the shark get there?” I hear you ponder.
Reader, you know as well as I that sharks famously don’t have feet. So how could this one have made it onto the mean streets of Summer Hill?
There are currently two running theories, both of which hold water (excuse the pun) in my eyes.
The first is that some absolute larrikin, the Summer Hill answer to Scotty Tweedy on Prank Patrol if you will, bought this shark from a fish market and dumped it in Grosvenor Street. I don’t know what depraved prankster would do such a thing.
But as one Redditor posited: “maybe a large cat took it from a fish shop”.
Now my mental image is a Wallace & Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit style humongous cat, flinging around sharks with reckless abandon.
The second theory is that the fella washed up on the shores of Cooks River in Marrickville thanks to the sopping fuckery of Miss La Niña and her soaking of Australia’s east coast. It could’ve then been transported through the Inner West waterways and ended up on Grosvenor Street.
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There was also some debate in the Reddit comments about what sort of shark it is. Fuck birdwatching, Inner West sharkwatching is my new favourite hobby.
Someone was quick to suggest bull sharks, seeing as they’re often seen hanging out in the rivers and estuaries of Sydney. However, another user said the snout was too elongated. Let’s take a closer look at that snout!
The same user then suggested it was a dusky shark or a bronze whaler, while another person said they were “99 per cent” sure it was a gummy shark.
Alas, my nine-year-old desire to be a marine biologist has failed to give me the necessary insight to weigh in. Actual scientists, feel free to sign off in the comments.
According to Summer Hill-ians on Facebook and Reddit, the shark is no longer there. Farewell, my fishy friend. To the great Shark Tale in the sky you go.