The Woman Desperately Seeking Chris From Frankston Has Been Charged By Police

In yet another twist to the apparently never-ending search for the mysterious Chris from Frankston, Victoria Police have laid charges against the woman who is furiously keen to get in touch with him.

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Just to catch you up in case you’ve somehow missed it: The outer suburb of Frankston has been overrun in recent days by a string of unusually specific graffiti tags imploring some unidentified Chris to get in touch with the author “before baby is born” or “don’t bother after.”

Photos of the numerous, near-identical tags were put up online by the Frankston Community Noticeboard Facebook page, where they summarily did the kind of numbers your terrible wordplay gags on Twitter could only ever dream of.

While the Frankston Mayor declared that the very straightforward messages had been removed, further evidence suggested the unnamed woman’s attempts to contact Chris were still on-going.

Now, however, the whole shebang has hit a bit of a snag thanks to the benevolent folk at the local constabulary.

Victoria Police confirmed that a 36-year-old woman has been charged in relation to the graffiti, which is believed to have been painted between July 29 and 30.

The unnamed Frankston woman has been charged with counts of criminal damage, wilful damage, graffiti, and committing an indictable offence while on bail.

She has been bailed to appear at the Frankston Magistrates Court to have the charges heard on December 13.

It’s probably safe to assume that date will be after the baby has arrived, and Chris will have either talked to her by then, or chosen to not bother altogether.

It’s a bloody layered mystery, this one. Absolutely gripping stuff.