Some Bloke Named ‘Chris’ In Frankston Really Needs To Call His Baby Mama ASAP

Hard as it may be to believe, but there was a time before mobile phones and people did actually manage to find ways to communicate with each other. Sometimes that was via old fashioned land line. Sometimes it was by written letter or telegram. But other times people had to get creative. Particularly when the person they were trying to get in touch with simply did not want to be contacted. Turns out the ways of the old world are not lost entirely, and that’s evident in the Melbourne suburb of Frankston at the moment where apparently someone named “Chris” is being given a very public ultimatum.

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It would seem that the suburb is being plagued – overrun, if you will – by repeated graffiti requests from someone who would very much like to get in touch with Chris “before the baby is born.”

The kicker here? If Chris doesn’t reach out before the bundle of joy arrives, he’s been instructed to simply not bother trying afterwards.

The straightforward and very frank spray-painted message has popped up at multiple locations around the city, and was documented online by the Frankston Community Noticeboard Facebook page late yesterday.

The messaging here is uniform and to-the-point.


You really do need to talk to this person.

Preferably before the baby is born.

And if you don’t do it before then?

Don’t even bother.

Don’t do it, Chris. It’ll be too late then.

We might never know if Chris eventually does reach out to make contact – it’s not like these things ever receive a campaign of follow-up messages – so this could wind up being one Frankston’s all-time great mysteries.

But despite everything, one thing remains abundantly, painfully clear: Chris, you need to talk to her before the baby is born, or do not bother after.

In that regard, it could not possibly be any clearer.