H2No Thanks: The Biggest Downpour In A Fkn Decade Is Coming For The East Coast Of Australia

wild weather rain east coast australia

What’s cookin’ girls, gays and children of the tropical cyclone? Well, the west coast, that’s what. Everyone else can expect some wild weather wetter than a weekend stint at Jamberoo. Without further ado, let’s get into the wacko weather predictions for the weeks to come.

Rain. Yep, lots and lots of rain. Expect to take the kayak places instead of walking, because it’s predicted that the east and south coast of Australia is going to see more rain than it has in a whole decade.

Your friend and mine, the Bureau of Meteorology (BoM if you’re nasty) have even predicted that some places will be walloped with an entire summer’s worth of downpour in just two days. Fun! Maybe it’s time to dual-wield your umbrellas like a soaked-up samurai.

The intense downpour is reportedly going to be caused by Ex-Tropical Cyclone Tiffany, which is now her name after her brief stint over near the Kimberley Coast in the ’90s. Think of her as a scorned ex, coming back for vengeance. You’ve blocked her on all socials but she’s found you on LinkedIn.

NSW and Qld will be getting super-soaked, with SA copping the worst of it all.

South Australianites can expect 150mm of rain with major flood warnings, so stay safe and keep the car in the garage.

Despite the whimsical weather, Victorians won’t be hit by showers until this weekend/early next week, with some lovely sunshine in the meantime.

On the other hand, BoM has issued a severe heat warning for our friends in Perth, which just goes to show how fucked the weather is across the board here. I’m taking highs of 40c across multiple days. The kind of weather that makes you wish for a kiss from Miss Tiffany.

Temperatures are set to still remain in the high 20s in NSW and Qld despite the absolute piss-pouring that’s coming, while Victoria will see temps in the mid-30s until next week when showers should make an appearance.

Darwinners, expect some showers in the coming days. Hobartians get ready for cloudy days with some sunshine coming in over the weekend. All seven folks in Canberra, get ready for constant dreary clouds, which isn’t exactly anything new for you lot.

Alrighty folks, that’s your weather predictions for the coming days. Try not to be too walloped with watery whips this week!