Frankly I’m more than a little surprised that we’ve gotten this far along as a species without something like this happening already. Last year American cable TV network The Hallmark Channel created and broadcasted the first Kitten Bowl – a game of American football where players were substituted with kittens and rules were relaxed and it was just a bunch of kittens running around a tiny football field for three hours – which was broadcasted alongside the NFL SuperBowl, because if you’re competing against the SuperBowl for ratings, you just have to grab for people’s basal instincts.
So not only are Hallmark gearing up to present Kitten Bowl II this coming February, but they’re going full can has cheeseburger creating the first-of-its-kind Feline Football League – a fully scheduled league comprising of teams, stocked with the most athletic kittens via a kitty draft, and operated exactly like a “real” football league with the purpose of determining which two teams of kittehs are worthy of a spot in the big game.
‘Course the Kitten Bowl was originally Hallmark’s answer to Animal Planet‘s Puppy Bowl. Which, you might be shocked to learn, operates in a similar fashion in that it’s a bunch of puppies numbing your pain for three hours.
The first incarnation of the Kitten Bowl say players the likes of Mr. Whiskers, Crazy Legs, and Hairy Rice battle out a hard-fought contest, which ultimately saw the North Shore Bengals triumph over the Cedar Cove Cougars 24-20.
The scoring system, most likely, is retained to occasionally snap people out of their cuteness-induced trances.
If you’ve got a spare two hours (which you probably won’t realise you had until it’s two hours later and you’ve watched the whole thing) you can check out the first Kitten Bowl in all its furry glory below.
Photo: The Washington Post via Getty Images.
