The Ridiculous Nutella-Stuffed Milkshakes War Is Here To Make You Fat

To most of us it only happens once in our lifetimes – and that’s only if we’re lucky.

But when it happens, it’s life-changing. Everything you thought you knew about life and love is turned upside down in an instant.
And it can happen to you anywhere. Most likely when you least suspect it. You’re at a pub. In a park. Or even in a cafe somewhere.
The crowds part. The lines of sight align. And despite hundreds of faces and eyes passing by you every minute, you see them. And your heart skips a beat.
Suddenly your life – without them in it – becomes totally and utterly worthless. What good is laughing if you can’t laugh with them? What good is loving if they don’t love you back? What good is existing in a world where you found them and just let them go?
There is no “you” and “them” any more, it’s “we” and “us.” Together, forever, inexorably linked.
Your life, your soul, is now enriched beyond any means you ever thought possible, all because you looked up from your coffee one morning and spotted…

The creation of Foodcraft Espresso in Sydney’s Erskinville, the demonic sugar coma waiting to happen features three full scoops of Nutella and vanilla bean ice cream, blended with ice, syrup, and milk, served in a mason jar glass with a Nutella Doughnut jammed on top of the whole thing, with a straw carefully skewered down through the whole lot and into the dairy delights below.
Foodcraft is already well known for the Nutella Doughnuts (or Tella Balls as they refer to them) and this particular Frankenstein’d creation is apparently “off menu.” Though given the way its blown up on social media, that probably won’t be the case for very long.
The voracious appetite for all things Nutella-based has sent the industry into overload – to the point where restauranteurs have caused something of a shortage of the beloved spread, snapping up all the usual “commercial” sized tubs and forcing them to grab small tubs directly off supermarket shelves en masse.
And it’s not just Foodcraft getting into the biz of creating magical, mythical, artery clenching Nutella-stuffed milkshakey treats.
Pâtissez in Canberra has previous set the bar extremely high for this. I mean… would you… just… would you look at this already?

JESUS. That’s practically porn.
No matter who emerges on top in this surely bloodiest of battles, the one true winner can only ever be us.
And maybe cardiologists.
But mostly us.
Drink up!
Photo via Instagram.