Ted Cruz, the US senator many Aussies might know of for liking porn on Twitter and being the public’s #1 Zodiac killer suspect, is clawing his way back to unfortunate relevancy yet again, this time by getting fucking dragged for his dogshit take on COVID vaccine mandates.

Tweeting out of his ass last week, Senator Cruz responded to a video of Northern Territory Chief Minister Michael Gunner announcing vaccine mandates for the state.

Cruz called the mandate “COVID tyranny” and said that the current government is “disgraceful and sad”, after uttering what I imagine he thought was a compliment when he claimed Australia “is the Texas of the Pacific.” Fucking insulting, if you ask me.

He then said he “stands with the people of Australia”, as if we actually wanted his ridiculous ‘support’.

Ted Cruz’s comments have not gone undetected though, with NT Chief Minister Michael Gunner absolutely dragging him on Twitter with nothing but straight facts.

On Monday, Gunner tweeted a response listing “a few facts about COVID down here.”

“Nearly 70,000 Texans have tragically died from COVID. There have been zero deaths in the Territory. Did you know that?” he wrote in the statement.

Woof.

“Vaccination is so important here because we have vulnerable communities and the oldest continuous living culture on the planet to protect. Did you know that?

“We’ve done whatever it takes to protect the Territory. That’s kept us safe AND free. We have been in lockdown for just eight days in 18 months. Our businesses and schools are all open. Did you know that?”

“We don’t need your lectures, thanks mate,” he continued.

“You know nothing about us.

“And if you stand against a life-saving vaccine, then you sure as hell don’t stand with Australia.

“I love Texas (go Longhorns) but when it comes to COVID, I’m glad we are nothing like you.”

Go off!!!

This whole ‘Save Australia’ sentiment seems to be doing the rounds in America lately, after protesters in New York City who were opposing vaccine mandates rallied in our name. Um, no thanks?

Now, there’s a lot we can criticise about the oppressive nature of the Australian government, like its illegal detention of refugees, or continued removal of Aboriginal children. But of course, American conservatives only care about our rights and freedoms when it’s relevant to their own agendas.