OH MY GOD.
I’M SORRY BUT OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Senator Ted Cruz just tweeted this:
a.k.a. a message famously sent by the Zodiac Killer, a.k.a. a final acknowledgement AT LAST that he, Ted Cruz, is the Zodiac Killer.
Alright, so it’s not that. It’s him getting in on the joke, years after it began rumbling before spreading, like memes do, to every realm of the online consciousness by 2016.
Here’s how we got there:
It was in response to Ben Sasse, a Republican Senator who er, accidentally spilled Dr. Pepper (an insanely gross soft drink for those who have never travelled to the States) during a Senate Judiciary hearing earlier today.
“Hmm, ‘accidentally’, Ben Sasse?” tweeted a US journo covering the White House.
“No comment,” replied Sasse.
“If I were sitting with the son of the guy who killed Kennedy I might do worse than spill some Dr Pepper,” said a random, referring to a bizarre conspiracy Trump started during the presidential election, that Cruz’s dad was responsible for the assassination of John F. Kennedy. (Er, he wasn’t.)
“Full disclose,” replied Sasse. “I was wearing my ‘Lee Harvey Oswald Was Framed’ t-shirt.”
WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE.
I can’t. I’m dead.
This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. I almost want you to be president because of this tweet.— ((Molly Jong☠️Fast)) (@MollyJongFast) October 18, 2017
Cancel the internet, it's over— James Treakle (@JamesTreakle) October 18, 2017
This is actually really fucking funny.— Ira Madison III (@ira) October 18, 2017
But first of all, this is a confession I hope the FBI arrests you. https://t.co/7nHQXeN4PB
I think Ted Cruz just admitted to being the Zodiac Killer. https://t.co/xwwJcO9CS3— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) October 18, 2017
what is happening https://t.co/nLFqnFSYMn— the walking zed (@NathanZed) October 18, 2017
so i found "rafael" in here but haven't decoded "grassy knoll" yet https://t.co/wVb2GMTf2i— Ben Sasse (@BenSasse) October 18, 2017
Holy shit, look who grew a sense of humor. https://t.co/dsWPlQqP3m— Holly O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) October 18, 2017
Let’s not forget that Ted Cruz is still a monster, just not this very specific monster. Probably. I mean, who the fuck knows.
And to everybody claiming that Cruz killed the meme: it was already DOA, guys. This is the send-off it – and we – deserved.