Ted Cruz, The Internet’s #1 Zodiac Killer Suspect, Just Posted Some ‘Proof’

OH MY GOD.

I’M SORRY BUT OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK WHAT IS HAPPENING.

Senator Ted Cruz just tweeted this:

a.k.a. a message famously sent by the Zodiac Killer, a.k.a. a final acknowledgement AT LAST that he, Ted Cruz, is the Zodiac Killer.

Alright, so it’s not that. It’s him getting in on the joke, years after it began rumbling before spreading, like memes do, to every realm of the online consciousness by 2016.

Here’s how we got there:

It was in response to Ben Sasse, a Republican Senator who er, accidentally spilled Dr. Pepper (an insanely gross soft drink for those who have never travelled to the States) during a Senate Judiciary hearing earlier today.

“Hmm, ‘accidentally’, Ben Sasse?” tweeted a US journo covering the White House.

“No comment,” replied Sasse.

“If I were sitting with the son of the guy who killed Kennedy I might do worse than spill some Dr Pepper,” said a random, referring to a bizarre conspiracy Trump started during the presidential election, that Cruz’s dad was responsible for the assassination of John F. Kennedy. (Er, he wasn’t.)

“Full disclose,” replied Sasse. “I was wearing my ‘Lee Harvey Oswald Was Framed’ t-shirt.”

WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE.

I can’t. I’m dead.

https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/920712558184685568

https://twitter.com/JamesTreakle/status/920710162608001032

https://twitter.com/Kisco75/status/920711453203619845

https://twitter.com/BennyEsanu/status/920709296773632001

https://twitter.com/ira/status/920713140081344512

Let’s not forget that Ted Cruz is still a monster, just not this very specific monster. Probably. I mean, who the fuck knows.

And to everybody claiming that Cruz killed the meme: it was already DOA, guys. This is the send-off it – and we – deserved.

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