Like any of us, Senator Ted Cruz likes to crank his hog from time to time. Politicians don’t often speak about the joys of masturbation (especially not conservative U.S. ones), but it’s a little know fact that every last one of us has brought ourselves to orgasmic peak by the pleasure of our own hand. Ted Cruz wanks, people.
That’s not what we’re concerned about today.
No, we’re more interested in the fact that Cruz’s Twitter account liked a literal porn tweet and the internet is LIVING for it.
(We checked. It’s legit. Ted Cruz’s personal Twitter account – not his separate ‘Senator’ one – liked an honest-to-god porn tweet.)
https://twitter.com/PhillyD/status/907463613488578561
I’m sure @TedCruz will claim this “like” was the result of a hack! 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/g968YCx51I
— Perez (@ThePerezHilton) September 12, 2017
LMFAOOOOOOOO FUCK https://t.co/OOyEwfvtZg
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 12, 2017
wow ted cruz needs to chill pic.twitter.com/VqW3SCL2dU
— dubstep4dads (@dubstep4dads) September 12, 2017
TED LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/xJhDlqbnWD
— jake, (@callmeshitto) September 12, 2017
This is the tweet in question, if you want to watch some straight-up porn. The upside? It’s porn! The downside? You’re getting off to exactly what Cruz is, which is enough to kill anyone’s (lady) boner.
https://twitter.com/SexuallPosts/status/907101280488837121
It’s exciting to wonder whether Cruz is going to try and claim hacking, an over-excited staffer, or even the old ‘I was trying to prove to my wife that a certain type of porn exists’, made popular by journalist Kurt Eichenwald that time he accidentally tweeted a screenshot of him googling niche hentai.
Of course he could just quietly unlike the tweet, but the story is out there, and it ain’t going away.
https://twitter.com/drmattdambrosio/status/907468332500008961
https://twitter.com/fart/status/907472117502844928
https://twitter.com/zachbraff/status/907471680326352897
Liking a porn tweet is by far the least offensive, most normal thing Ted Cruz has ever done.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 12, 2017
“Ted Cruz liked a porn tweet” has now replaced the actual events of 9/11 in my memory
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz’s press secretary is going to have a quite a surprise when they wake up tomorrow
— Dan Pfeiffer (@danpfeiffer) September 12, 2017
i was about to go to sleep but now i’ve never felt more alive
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) September 12, 2017
At the time of writing, the tweet in question was still liked. It’s just past midnight where Cruz is. Texas, do you know what your Senator is watching?
