There is not a person alive – man, woman, child, alien, elderly, or coward – that has viewed the centre surface of a split escalator and not thought “fucken… could slide down that.”
Not a single person.
Everyone’s done it.
Everyone.
And with good reason: It’s the playground equipment in a grown-up setting that your ass has been yearning for ever since it got too big to glide down the playground slippery dip.
Sadly, all those giant train station escalators have annoying slide blockers in the middle of them that, thanks to their presence, prevents ordinary people from lining up for the slide of a lifetime.
‘Course that doesn’t stop anyone from trying, like this prize dickhead attempting the big slide in a video posted by his mate on Twitter earlier this morning.
It’s only a six-second clip, but clear your schedule. You’ll be watching this on loop for a while.
Look at this absolute buffoon.
Look.
https://twitter.com/__gower/status/943925810255335425
My god, it’s magnificent.
The yelp after he crotches himself on the first pole.
The giggle from his mate as he passes by.
The sheer terror on his face as he realises it’s only about to get worse.
The sheer force with which the last blocker vaulted him the fuck off of there.
Bless the internet for its proliferation of people doing deadshit things. They suffer immensely so that we may experience the only true joy left in this world.
