Get Your Slimy Hands Off Her!!!!!

Morrison washes a woman's hair in Melb hair salon.

Please pray for the woman who just had her face gently stroked by the slimy hands of Prime Minister Scott Morrison at a local hair salon, and no I’m not talking about Jenny.

Scott Morrison, who is currently cavorting around Melbourne as part of his campaign trail, was spotted in the Mornington Peninsula performing an act I can only describe as “nightmare fuel”.

Truly eerie footage has emerged of Morrison washing the hair of a young woman in a hair dressing salon, and words cannot describe how quickly I would un-alive myself if I was found in this context.

Nothing on God’s green Earth could convince me to consent to this man’s grubby hands stroking my hair… gently caressing my face… rubbing my scalp. Oh god, I’m shuddering.

The video, though only four seconds long, has taken 17 years off of my life. And probably more for the girl, who appears to be clasping her wrists like her life depends on it. All I can think about is the view she has of the PM from the angle that she is looking up at him.

Here’s another angle.

Hair washing, in my opinion, is an intimate and divine act. That pure moment of human connection that comes with my hair dresser’s perfectly manicured fingers gliding across my hair follicles… it’s unrivalled.

To sully something so beautiful with the nasty, crusty hands of Scott Morrison feels blasphemous, even sinful. I’m gagging at the thought. And so is the PM’s empathy consultant I bet, who is probably curled up in a corner somewhere sobbing “this isn’t what I meant when I said you have to get into women’s heads”.

The awful footage of our PM being ~relatable~ comes off the back of major backlash regarding every single one of his incompetencies. Most notable in this context were his ridiculous comments about Grace Tame following her refusal to smile at him and leaked texts where an MP allegedly called him “a complete psycho”.

The point is, it looks like Morrison’s inability to have a normal interaction with women is yet to be solved. I’ll keep sending thoughts and prayers. Xx