Fellow members of the curryspiracy society, we have further evidence that Prime Minister Scott Morrison doesn’t actually cook the curries he posts on his social media. Normally I mean that in a “he actually ordered it from UberEats” kind of way, but his latest curry picture leads me to believe he literally doesn’t cook them because that chicken is raw AF.
Picture this: you’re scrolling through social media and come across a Facebook post, uploaded by Scott Morrison who you don’t follow but cannot seem to escape.
It’s another curry photo — a part of his regular series to seem relatable when really all it does is make you further repulsed by his coloniser habit of enjoying Sri Lanka’s food while locking up its people. It’s captioned: “Strong curry. Strong Economy. Strong Future.” You gag.
What even is a “strong” curry? Strong as in, Morrison made it extra hot? I doubt it because that curry is looking whiter than he is.
With a sigh, you click. If you’re going to be subjected to this sick joke, you may as well investigate. You’re aware of the conspiracies around his dishes and you put your detective hat on.
To your shock, horror and then slight optimism, you realise something. The chicken in Morrison’s very sad and colourless korma is fucking raw. Bye bye Morrison, perhaps?
Just look at it. There is no way the chicken is cooked. At this point it’s not even a conspiracy, it’s a fact. That chicken is basically still clucking and even the sauce is looking unseasoned as hell.
Morrison’s comment section is now filled with people either warning of or manifesting salmonella, and I’ve never prayed for anything so hard in my life. It’s still Ramadan for me today and I’m asking God for one last favour.
“How good is raw chicken?” one comment on the post reads.
“A fair dose of salmonella for those who have a go.”
“I’m thinking you will be getting a lot more opportunities to cook at home soon,” said another.
“Looks like you cook your chicken as well as you lead the conuntry,” commented a third.
Others called out Scott Morrison for constantly fetishising Sri Lankan food yet abusing its refugees.
“Instead of badly cooking a curry, how about releasing the Murugapppan family [to] Biloela?” one comment said.
“Making a Sri Lankan curry while a Sri Lankan family is locked up! Release the Murugappan family from detention. Imagine how they would feel seeing this!” wrote another.
Honestly, when will this man learn? I still haven’t forgotten the OG curry drama. Remember when Scott Morrison (allegedly) cooked up a Massaman curry, apparently with 4L of coconut milk and a whole bowl of potato chunks, only for the final image to have neither coconut milk or potato in it?
If we thought his curries were just a photo-op then, we sure as hell know they are now.
