Prime Minister Scott Morrison, being the busy man he is, hasn’t spoken at a presser in several days despite the fact his country is in the middle of a pandemic. But he *did* have the time to publicly prep and make a Massaman curry – or did he? People on Twitter reckon the PM’s recent cooking endeavour may have been fake, and I am here to investigate.
It all started with Scott Morrison’s Facebook page on Saturday, where he posted a selfie with his dog and said Saturday night is curry night, and he’s making the girl’s favourite.
He later commented a picture of the ingredients for his Massaman curry, which I just – why the fuck are there three cans of coconut milk AND a can of coconut cream?? There’s nearly 2 litres of the stuff! For a Massaman curry?? The ethnic in me is screaming.
“Beef and potato Massaman curry for tonight. Prep done,” the comment reads, and it looks like he’s feeding a whole fkn village instead of just Jen and the gals. Nice to know he can prep a meal, even if he can’t prep his fkn country. Anyway, I digress.
Later that evening, Scomo uploaded a picture of the now cooked curry (and I mean cooked in every sense of the word) – and people noticed some inconsistencies with the pictures that have led to questions on whether or not he actually made it.
Twitter user @ToneSaysGoLeft posted the two pictures side by side and noted that in the picture of the curry, there seemed to be no potato. Which, you know, is one of the main ingredients of this dish. On top of that, the curry didn’t look creamy either – and considering the PM used like two whole fucking litres of coconut milk, you’d expect it to see it.
#ScottyFromMarketing posts two photos. Prep & final dish. Anyone see the problem? There's not 4 cans of coconut milk in that curry. There's no potatoes in that curry. This is all staged & fake #MorrisonFailure #auspol pic.twitter.com/S0zLGkuGZa
— ????Evil Sewer Rat???? (@ToneSaysGoLeft) July 3, 2021
Now, I have sat and looked at these photos, *and* inspected the original recipe, and I am convinced there is a curry-faking conspiracy here.
If the bowl that the Massaman curry has been served in is the same size as the rice bowl, then we know it’s not deep, *and* it narrows as you get to the base. So I don’t think the massive potato chunks Scott Morrison allegedly chopped up for the curry could all possibly be hiding under the surface. It doesn’t check out.
There *is* a sliver of what could be a potato piece in the bottom, centre-left of the picture, but it also could be a bit of ginger or something else. And also, it’s not the same size as the potatoes he cut.
So either Scott Morrison just ??? took a picture of a different curry (as the tweet below suggests), or he cooked the potatoes for so fucking long and with such force that they were all pulverised into mash and therefore interweaved with the liquid. This, however, does not account for the invisible coconut milk/cream situation.
Following Scott Morrison’s example, I have assembled several small bowls of ingredients and ordered a takeaway curry.
— Le Vache Qui Ritalin (@drunkenmadman) July 4, 2021
I reckon there are two answers to this curryspiracy – either Scott Morrison faked the dish, or fucked it up so deeply that it is unrecognisable as a Massaman curry. And I’m not sure which is funnier.
Anyway, this investigation has made me super hungry so now I’m going to order some curry on Uber Eats. Meanwhile, enjoy this hilarious tweet that has absolutely fkn sent me.
Don’t you have another curry to cook on your gaslight stove.
— Peta Morris (@Petamorris1) July 5, 2021
Gaslight stove. I can’t.