An Ant Crawled Onto ScoMo’s Face This Morning, And I’ve Never Wanted To Be An Ant Less

Scott Morrison And The Ant

Good morning! It’s Wednesday, hump day, and I would very much like to talk about the ant that crawled onto Prime Minister Scott Morrison‘s face during a press conference this morning. Why? Well, why not? I am nothing but a fan of this big ant.

The press conference was to provide an update on the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccine, but truly that was the least entertaining part of the entire thing.

At one point in the conference, a big-ass ant crawls onto ScoMo’s face and just hangs around for a bit. Honestly, that is icon activity. What is her name? In the wise words of Melania Trump, “what is she thinking?”

The best part about the ant reaching ScoMo’s face is that ants have to crawl their way to their destinations. So essentially, this little legend scaled up the entirety of our Prime Minister’s body just to reach his face. That, my friends, is a feat worth documenting.

I mean, surely ScoMo is like, the Mount Kosciuszko of the ant world, right? Not the tallest, quite Australian and covered with snow at the top.

Personally, I think it’s unfair that the fly on Mike Pence‘s head back in the day received meme after meme, and yet this queen of an ant has barely received any recognition for its work. Truly a shame. All the fly had to do was just land in one spot and stay there. No climbing involved. Pitiful.

According to Scott Morrison, because I guess he was at the press conference to say words, the NSW AstraZeneca vaccine rollout will begin today, which means we’ll probably be receiving a video of Gladys Berejiklian getting jabbed sometime this afternoon.

But you didn’t come here for that. You came here for ant discourse.

You know, I once went on a date with a guy with ant tattoos. He was obsessed with ants. He also asked me to make chicken noises mid-date and told me he had a genuine fear of cum. Weirdest fkn date ever.

I sent him cute pics of ants after the date (aren’t I just the best) and then he ghosted me.

Uhhh… anyway, if you want to watch the press conference, you can do so right here.

If you need me I’m going to go wash my brain. Perhaps I hate ants after all.