Last night’s press conference left us all very, very confused. ScoMo‘s crackdowns were, put simply, conflicting, like haircuts being limited to 30 minutes, or funerals and boot camps being limited to no more than 10 people but weddings being limited to 5 (eh?). Never fear, though – iconic duo Kate McLennan and Kate McCartney, the geniuses behind The Katering Show and Get Krack!n, have unleashed on this aforementioned clusterfuck. My worrisome heart is now soothed.
“We’ve been asked by the Australian government to deliver this PSA to you,” McCartney begins, “because apparently a lot of people are unfortunately very confused by our PM’s very clear messaging around this virus.”
“I mean, he has been nothing but transparent about the severity of this illness,” McLennan adds, “ever since the weekend after he went to that football match… Very crystal clear.”
The pair then begin to put forth a plethora of random scenarios that perfectly highlight how ludicrous some of the press conference crackdowns sounded.
“Brumby’s is still open, okay? It’s Baker’s Delight that is not open anymore. If you want something from Brumby’s, you’re allowed to have a cheesymite scroll – up to 6 of them – but you cannot have a finger bun, for obvious reasons.”
“You have to exercise outside in pods of 10, inclusive of 1 live dolphin.”
“Contrary to information, barre classes are still going on… But if you do go to a barre class, you have to stand very close, and classes will go for 18 hours.”
It’s fucking iconic, quite honestly, perfectly encapsulating the ridiculous rules and fine-print procedures being put into place amid the pandemic. Check out their masterpiece below. *Chef’s kiss* Brava.
We were asked to deliver a PSA from the Australian govermnent pic.twitter.com/LOEec3QuDX
— Kate McLennan (@katemclennan1) March 25, 2020
