Melting Lawyer Famous For Landscaping Press Conference Contracts COVID-19

Rudy Giuliani, the former Mayor of New York City and the chief lunatic doggedly pursuing legal challenges against the US election result despite a complete lack of evidence and coherence, has tested positive for COVID-19, according to soon-to-be ex-President Donald Trump.

Trump confirmed that Giuliani had contracted the virus on social media a short time ago, shirking the formal “COVID-19” term in favour of something rather stupid instead.

Giuliani himself has not commented on the matter, however the New York Times reports that he is being treated at Georgetown University Medical Centre in Washington DC.

It’s unknown whether Giuliani is exhibiting symptoms, however his advanced age puts him in the highest risk category for COVID-19 complications.

Giuliani has repeatedly been exposed to the virus through existing in President Trump’s orbit (the President’s own COVID diagnosis has now resulted in a cluster of at least 40 positive cases) and through his own family. Giuliani’s son, Andrew Giuliani tested positive on November 20th.

Giuliani appeared on Fox News in a 10-minute live interview hours before his diagnosis was made public, and he has been visible across the past handful of days. Notably, he appeared before legislators in Michigan last week in another baseless attempt to challenge the election result. He also spoke at the Georgia capitol building on Thursday. Both appearances he refused to wear a mask.

Interestingly enough, today’s diagnosis now means that Giuliani’s “star witness” in Michigan, Melissa Carrone, is now a close contact at absolute minimum. Carrone’s testimony at the hearing went viral for ah… fairly obvious reasons.

With Giuliani serving as Trump’s lead lawyer, it remains to be seen how this diagnosis will affect the Trump Team’s increasingly straw-clutching efforts to effectively seize the office of President via a legislative coup.

We’ll see, I guess!