Everyone cool your jetties (lol), because NSW Transport Minister Andrew Constance has assured us that “no one is going to be decapitated” while riding those new Sydney Ferries. So pop open the champagne!

Constance made the assertion earlier today in response to bemusement regarding the size of the new Ferry fleet, stating that the idea that people might literally lose their heads “sounds ridiculous.”

Now, what’s this grotesque decapitation rumour all about? Well, it all started because of the ten new RiverCat Ferries meant to run from Sydney Harbour up to the Parramatta River later this year. According to the Sydney Morning Herald, the ferries are apparently so tall that you have to move to the bottom deck to avoid being beheaded by the Camelia Railway and Gasworks Bridge.

Graeme Taylor from Action on Public Transport went one step further to claim that passengers will be “severed from the waist up, at high tide.” Honestly, how can these people say all this with a straight face?

But don’t worry Sydney-siders, according to the NSW government, 70% of the fleet are made with Australian parts. As that seems to be more important than our general safety for some reason??? Hey, you know what else will be 70%? Your body after it gets mutilated by riding on one of these monstrosities.

According to The Daily Telegraph, Constance believes that the design feature was deliberate and that it is not new but a standard procedure. Apparently, people have been almost getting beheaded for yonks now, “since 2014” he admitted.

“No one is going to be decapitated. On 5 per cent of services people will have to go downstairs.” He said.

Ok, so the threat of decapitation is just part of the experience? All good then.

Image: Getty Images / James D. Morgan