Say what you want about North Korea, but they never do anything at less than 100%. We know that the quiet word coming out of the totalitarian state was that they weren’t super jazzed on the idea that James Franco and Seth Rogen had put together a little ditty entitled The Interview – a screwball comedy about a pair of bumbling TV types unwittingly roped in to carrying out an assassination mission on Kim Jong-un. But, never being one to see a giant, harmless, sleeping dog and simply let it lie when they could be poking it from afar with a really long stick instead, North Korea has now officially declared the film to be “an act of war.“
An official spokesman from North Korea’s Foreign Ministry stated through state media that, should the US Government allow the film to be released, the reaction from North Korea will be “stern” and “merciless,” as quietly beneath the table he checked off two more words from the Thesaurus listing for “tough”.
The statement continued down its usual one-way path to Crazytown by stating that the “reckless US provocative insanity” of allowing a “gangster filmmaker” to challenge Kim Jong-un and the North Korean leadership is, in turn, triggering a “gust of hatred and rage” among North Korean people and soldiers. Goodness me.
The film, should it be released, would be considered by North Korea to be “an act of war that we will never tolerate.” This situation is not at all unlike the events that sparked World War II, which not many people know was caused by Hitler not taking too kindly to The Wizard of Oz.
So if war is a reasonable response to not liking a film, then I hereby dutifully declare swift and uncompromising war upon James Cameron for the maelstrom of shit that was Avatar.
Photo: Ed Jones via Getty Images.
