When Wiley and Ms. D released ‘Heatwave’ back in 2013, they only wanted to get us off our asses and have a little boogie on the d-floor. Little did they know that the hip-hop bop would become the theme song for Melbourne this week, as city dwellers prepare to have the hair scorched out of their heads with some blazing weather.

Yes friends you read that right, a massive heatwave is coming to boil every babe in Melbourne (and Perth) while the rest of us deal with just average hot weather.

You truly cannot prepare for what Mother Nature is going to gift us with, as just last week there was a massive east-coast superstorm that drenched us all in rain. Now, it’s time to pack up the brollies and turn the AC on ‘Arctic’ mode.

According to the busy bees at the Bureau of Meteorology (BoM) this patch of warm weather will linger over the coming week in Melb and Perth only. Not even gonna say that NSW wins this one, because it’s fkn hot here too.

On Sunday, BoM reported a record six days in a row over 40°C in Perth, a string of sweltering days that hasn’t been seen Adelaide had a big ol’ run of scorchers back in 2009.

Melb on the other hand was hit with a 32.6°C day on Sunday, and BoM says an “extended run” of hot weather will be coming for Melburnians, with a top of 35ºC predicted for Wednesday.

Sure this is just a normal summer day in Perth, but keep in mind this is Melbourne we’re talking about here, which never gets THIS fkn hot. CONSECUTIVELY. How will Melburnians survive?

As for the rest of us, you probably already know it (because you’re sweatin’ while reading this), but it’s gonna be pretty hot these coming days. Not heatwave hot, but still something to make Satan a lil’ jealous.

Sydney is facing some humid days with gross, warm showers predicted to fall as La Niña slowly evacuates the premises. Meanwhile, Brisbane babes who are well adjusted to the heat will be hit with some pleasant summer days around 30°C.

Canberra, Hobart and Adelaide are in for some pretty average days, reaching predicted highs of 31°C with very low chances of rain, while Darwin is predicted to be super soaked with some nasty storms predicted throughout the week.

Perthionalities and Melburnians, time to sleep with ice packs under your arms, it’s not looking pretty out there.