Water boys, Jamberoo girls and cumulonimbus theys, I come bearing good news. Our favourite sopping thot La Niña will be finishing her Australian residency soon, and things will return to normal finally. RIP in peace hot girl summer that never was.

Yep, you read that right, all these days of fucked up rain drenching our weekend plans will no longer be around. Splendid news for those of us who like to leave the house and do literally anything.

According to the badass binches at the Bureau of Meteorology (BoM), La Niña is already starting to pack her bags and head off, making a full departure at the beginning of Autumn.

So basically, come March, you should expect all the crazy weather yarns to cease somewhat. Until then I guess I’ll have to continuously report on the constant downpours and water whips that never cease to come our way.

As you can see in the tweet above, La Niña departing means that ENSO will return to neutral. What does this mean, you ask? Well, lucky for you I moonlight as a weather girl.

The El Niño–Southern Oscillation (ENSO) basically has three states: the cool and wet La Niña, the hot and steamy El Niño and the most exciting one of all, neutral.

Neutral is basically where we want to be. The weather acts normal and we don’t have to swim to work every day. It’s bliss.

However, until La Niña completes the Aussie leg of her worldwide tour, we’ve still got some bad weather to deal with.

An intense downpour is reportedly coming over the next week, and it’s going to be caused by Ex-Tropical Cyclone Tiffany, which is now her name after her brief stint over near the Kimberley Coast in the ’90s.

NSW and Qld will be getting super-soaked, with SA copping the worst of it all.

South Australianites can expect 150mm of rain with major flood warnings, so stay safe and keep the car in the garage.

Soon we will know peace from the wrath of La Niña, but until then don’t make unnecessary journeys, don’t take risks on treacherous roads and don’t swim in the sea.