GREAT NEWS: Australia’s Gonna Be Record-Bustingly Scorching For The Next Week

Australia Weather Heatwave

I’m completely un-Australian in that I fucking hate summer. Well, more specifically I am okay with weather of about 28 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze — that, to me, is perfection. The humidity? Get in the bin. Anything above 35 degrees? I’m moving to Iceland. So I’m bracing myself for a miserable few days with the news that the entire country of Australia is heading for a hellish heatwave.

[jwplayer XoX6NupN]

Wonderful stuff.

Australia Weather Heatwave

According to the Bureau of Meteorology, most of the Southern states of Australia are going to cop extreme heatwave levels of weather in the coming days, right up until the New Year.

Along with an alarming-looking map featuring many parts of Australia coloured with the deep orange level of heat, the BoM also says that: “severe to extreme heatwave conditions will continue to expand across SA, southeast NSW and into eastern VIC. Extreme heatwave conditions will be experienced south of Broken Hill to Sydney down to northeast Victoria in this period.”

Australia Weather Heatwave
Source: Bureau of Meteorology

Notoriously sweltering WA will of course be affected by this weather but even little TAS is going to feel the burn, with the BoM adding: “Most of the continent will be under a low-intensity to severe heatwave extending from northwest WA through to southeast Australia. Northeast TAS will also be under a severe heatwave.”

“Low-intensity heatwave” sounds like a real shit sandwich, doesn’t it? A heatwave’s a heatwave, imo.

Australia Weather Heatwave

According to The Guardian, many parts of the country will be smacked with 40c+ days, with Marble Bar in WA enjoying a pleasant 49c forecast for next Wednesday and the country Victorian town of Mildura receiving the blessed gift of 5 consecutive days of 40c or more. It’s the first time that’s occurred since the 1930s, so what was that about global warming being a lie??!

Australia Weather Heatwave

The outlet also reports that Sydney will experience “an extended period of above 40C” while it will hit 35 in Melbourne and 41 in Adelaide in the next couple of days.

In fact, it seems only the Northern parts of Australia aren’t at “heatwave” status, with Darwin at it’s usual 33-34c December status and rain predicted for Far North Queensland.

As for the rest of us, it’s time double dose the deodorant.

Australia Weather Heatwave