Looks Like All Santa’s Bringing Australia This Year Is A Fuck-Off Heatwave

Welp. Summer’s here, folks. While Christmas Day is set to be a bloody pearler of a day across the nation, that Christmas cheer is set to herald the arrival of a scorching heatwave that’s set to send temperatures soaring to as high as 45 degrees or more in some parts of the nation.

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The Bureau of Meteorology is now forecasting a three-day heatwave scheduled to hit large parts of the country from Boxing Day onwards, with Canberra and Adelaide set to be the major cities that cop it the sweetest.

The South Australian capital will not see a maximum temperature much below 35 until well after the weekend, with Thursday and Sunday forecast to top out above 40 degrees.

Meanwhile in Canberra, the next seven days in a row are expected to break 30, with Friday, Saturday, and Sunday tipped to hit 38, 39, and 39 degrees respectively.

Parts of inland Victoria are expected to feel the full brunt of the heatwave, with scorching temperatures forecast for the entire week. Mildura in particular is the worst affected major rural centre; temperatures will soar above 40 on Boxing Day and will not cool off anytime before next week. Sunday in particular is currently expecting a forecast high of 46 degrees. Which, in our opinion, is far too many degrees.

Forecasters believe the heatwave will be so severe that it could challenge the devastating 2009 heatwave, which provided the conditions that exacerbated the Black Saturday bushfires.

The slightly better news is that both Sydney and Melbourne are likely to avoid the bulk of the brutal heat; Sydney’s extended forecast calls for a run of sunny days in the high 20s to low 30s, while Melbourne is set to experience cooler days in the mid 20s towards the end of the week before temperatures increase slightly across the weekend.

Hope Santa’s bringing you something like an ice… suit. Whatever, it’s Christmas Eve, you write the article-ending jokes.