Billionaire without a soul Jeff Bezos‘ cock rocket
splooged exploded mid-air after experiencing some complications with its erection propellant. Nobody was onboard.
It’s no secret that every billionaire wants to leave this planet behind so they can become emperor of the galaxy, but those ambitions are pointless if none of their rockets can actually make it into space.
Bezos’ rocket company Blue Origin launched the dick rocket into the sky as part of the New Shepard program. Just to jot your noggin, the New Shepard rockets are the ones he’s been doing 10-minute space tours with.
This flight here was probably just a test, as it was done using a rocket designed to hold nothing but experiments.
The capsule with the experiments in it can be seen
ejaculating separating from the main shaft rocket once things go awry. It then parachutes itself to the ground and… lands with a huge slam. I’m pretty sure if a human was in that escape pod they’d just shatter like a LEGO character.
Then again what do I know, I haven’t even watched Interstellar yet.
You can watch the vid for yourself here:
Booster failure on today’s uncrewed flight. Escape system performed as designed. pic.twitter.com/xFDsUMONTh— Blue Origin (@blueorigin) September 12, 2022
“It appears we’ve experienced an anomaly with today’s flight. This wasn’t planned,” the launch commentary reportedly said on Monday.
The Federal Aviation Administration reported that there were no injuries or damages caused by the rocket exploding.
I feel like an escape pod full of experiments might have a safer time than a human body, but again, what do I know? I haven’t even seen The Mandalorian.
It appeared to hit pretty hard!! The announcer mentioned that the retros fired upon landing but after reviewing the footage it didn't seem like they did. I would be really curious to see the data too.— Gnome Chomsky🏴🇺🇸 (@Gn0m3Ch0m5ky) September 12, 2022
Space tourism is this business. This rocket, when working correctly, is perfect for that, its stated purpose. It’s even safe when it doesn’t work perfectly, as shown here.— Chuck Quarles (@ChuckQuarles) September 12, 2022
Something tells me there’s going to be a few rich people sweating in their Armani boots before they take to the skies in a Bezos rocket.
Could we maybe be using our money to fix this dying planet we’re on instead of trying so desperately to leave it? No? Alright. Keep making dick rockets.