Befriend Someone With A Pool ASAP Bc We’re Copping A Heatwave That’ll Be ‘Hotter Than Summer’

Sydney Queensland Melbourne Sees Heat Spike

Well, damn. We really thought that Autumn was gonna give us a damn break from the sun, but nope. A hot-ass heat spike is about to hit the east coast, making you feel like Satan has just sat his ‘yuge ass crack on the face of the earth.

Even though Sydney has been with the wrath of Miss Supercell Storm, a heatwave is about to set in early next week, flipping things around like a toupee in a tornado. So make sure you’re ready to slip slop slap, especially if you’re one of those 120,000 concert goers who’s heading to Olympic Park over the weekend. 

“Some places, maybe Sydney, could be hotter than anything we’ve seen through the entirety of summer,” Sky News meteorologist, Rob Sharpe said.

Literally, the sun had like three months to give us summer vibes, but OFC it picked chaos in March instead.

Sharpe also mentioned that Southern inland Queensland will also be impacted by this impromptu heat bubble. Melbourne will also be mildly hit with the wave of hotness, seeing low 30s next week.

“A heat spike will be over southern inland Queensland and then NSW where on Sunday there will be some elevated fire danger as the wind picks up.”

According to the Bureau of Meteorology, Penrith (shout out to West Syd) is set to hit 37C on Monday, so RIP to the eshays who live in their puffer jackets and matching tracksuits. You are literally going to be sweating BALLS.

As for our QLD friends, Roma is forecasted to reach 38C today (DAMN) and 37C next Monday and Tuesday. The heat bubble is set to burst in the middle of the week — on Wednesday according to Sharpe — for the east coast baddies, but until then getting ready to feel what it’s like to be a meat pie in a Kmart air fryer. 

As for our North Aussie fans, y’all are looking soaking wet. I mean, a monsoon is set to sweep through y’all next week, with the heat bubble completely missing the north.

So to put this weather forecast in a nutshell: No, you will not be able to find a seat at Totti’s Bondi or a space on the rocks at Gordon’s Bay. The heat is about to make the girlies ACT TF UP!