Look, I know we’re all desperate for things to reopen and to finally be able to have a boozy night out with our girls, gays and theys, but this is a bit Totti-culous: a bloke just allegedly tried to sell his reservation at Bar Totti’s in December for a shit tone of money.

In a screenshot of a post from the Bondi community Facebook group, Bondi Local Loop, a man named Joel says he’s offering his six-person booking at the Merivale-owned Bondi Italian bar and restaurant in December for an ever so rich price of six hundred dollarydoos. Minus the $600 bill at the end of the night, ofc.

“Selling TOTTIs reservation for Saturday December 4th, 6 people, 6:30pm,” he said. “$600 ONO.”

$600??? Welp, unless you’re someone who shits pure gold, you can say goodbye to your sun-kissed freedom Bondi bevy.

Not gonna lie though, it’s kinda worth it for the burrata and Roma tomatoes and basil dressed in olive oil—kinda being the keyword.

The post has since been deleted from the group but that hasn’t stopped Twitter from absolutely roasting the seller.

In a screenshot of the deleted post, one member of the group replied: “You have got to be kidding me.”

I know that we’re all itching to go outside and get on the booze in an actual bar, but this is kinda insane, no? I mean, yes, we’re all dying for things to reopen and businesses most likely won’t be able to keep up with the demand—I tried to book a haircut this week and the earliest my local could do was the end of October—but this is crazyyy.

Speaking with PEDESTRIAN.TV, however, Joel says he doesn’t have a booking and wrote the post “as a joke”.

“I was in no way expecting so much traction, but it clearly resonated with people,” he said.

“Justin Hemmes reposted it and seemed to think it was funny. I think there’s a lot of emotion going around with lockdown ending and I ended up getting a lot of messages with genuine offers so decided to take it down.

“If anyone does have a booking at TOTTI’s, hit me up!”

Bar Totti’s has yet to respond to the post. PEDESTRIAN.TV has reached out to the restaurant for comment.

Anyway, if you need me, I’ll be sipping cocktails in the Bar Totti’s courtyard on December 4th. Well, via a virtual Zoom background. I’m not made of money, you freaks.

Image: Merivale / Stan