Shit The Bloody Bed, President Donald Trump & Melania Have Got Coronavirus

In the all-time greatest “FUCKEN WELP” in human history, US President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump have both tested positive for COVID-19.

Trump confirmed the diagnosis in a Tweet sent out just a few short minutes ago, stating both he and his wife will be immediately entering quarantine to begin their recovery process.

Both Donald and Melania Trump were given COVID tests after the President’s top aide, Hope Hicks, tested positive for coronavirus earlier this afternoon. Trump confirmed that diagnosis at the time, and asserted both he and Melania were pre-emptively heading into quarantine.

Hicks has been present for much of Trump’s recent travel, including to the site of Wednesday’s disastrous Presidential debate in Cleveland, Ohio, and to a campaign rally in Minnesota. Several other Presidential aides travelled with both Hicks and Trump aboard Marine One on that occasion, with no one in the contingent observed wearing masks.

Trump has routinely harangued his election opponent Joe Biden for wearing face masks. At Wednesday’s debate, Trump and his entourage reportedly either didn’t wear masks altogether, or removed them once they were seated. Offers of free masks by a Cleveland Clinic Doctor were said to be refused. Biden and his entourage, on the other hand, work masks.

It’s unknown whether Biden’s interaction with the President at the debate now constitutes close contact, particularly given that Biden removed his mask to participate.

Navy Commander Dr. Sean Conley, Trump’s personal physician, issued a short statement to press confirming the positive diagnosis, asserting that Trump and Melania would be remaining at the White House while they recover.

“The President and First Lady are both well at this time, and they plan to remain at home within the White House during their convalescence. The White House medical team and I will maintain a vigilant watch, and I appreciate the support provided by some of our country’s greatest medical professionals and institutions. Rest assured I expect the President to continue carrying out his duties without disruption while recovering, and I will keep you updated on any further developments.”

What a goddamned day, I tell you what.