To say that it is absolute pandemonium on the internet at the moment, with everyone basking in the afterglow of President Donald Trump confirming he has COVID-19, is something of an understatement. It is fucking bedlam out there. No one can handle it. Social media is having a borderline meltdown. And yet it’s Telstra, of all people/things/places, that may have levelled the call of the day across the Tweet of the President.
To be clear here, Donald Trump getting COVID-19 isn’t fundamentally funny. It’s a horrible disease and he is, for all intents and purposes, apparently human. But on another, much more real sense it’s the funniest fucking thing to happen all year. It is – and believe me when I say this – SO funny. Ball-achingly hilarious, for so many reasons. The sheer amount of layers to this, you can barely comprehend.
So to that end, Telstra – or at least whoever is in charge of Telstra’s social accounts and is feeling particularly loose because the bosses all pissed off for lunch at 11:30 and don’t even remotely look like returning – has gone absolutely full throttle at the President’s rather unfortunate malady.
Don't even try and blame 5G for this. https://t.co/rmamU3mPIY— Telstra (@Telstra) October 2, 2020
In the event the Tweet gets deleted at some point soon – and because it’s such a good line that it deserves replaying – here’s a screenshot. For the archives.
That is, and I cannot stress this enough, a spicy meat-a-ball.
‘Course the discourse that follows this revelation in the coming days is gonna be an absolute fucken mess, even here in Australia. The sheer number of takes – both ok and sizzlingly bad – are gonna be fairly overwhelming. Personally, I can’t wait for the hand-wringing from Australian conservative media – your Rowan Deans, your Chris Kennys, your Andrew Bolts and the like – chastising us for being so bold as to laugh at the President’s ailment.
To that there is but one definitive response: He’s not gonna kiss you, you sickos. No matter how bad you might want it.
Points to Telstra for this truly fantastic gag. What a golden, golden period we’re all in right now. Enjoy it while it lasts, mates.