A woman suing Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida for $50,000 after she claimed to have received an “injurious wedgie” on the Typhoon Lagoon Water Slide. This entire story sounds like a Betoota Advocate article so I am ~still~ getting over the fact that it’s real.
Per People, the woman visited the park in 2019 for a congenial splish splash before things allegedly took a turn for the worse.
“The impact of The Slide and [Emma’s] impact into the standing water at the bottom of The Slide caused Ms McGuinness’ clothing to be painfully forced between her legs and for water to be violently forced inside her,” the complaint said.
“She experienced immediate and severe pain internally and, as she stood up, blood began rushing from between her legs.”
“She was transported to a local hospital by ambulance for medical care and treatment, and eventually transported to another hospital for the repair of her gynecologic injuries by a specialist,” the complaint continued.
Oh my GOD.
That description has well and truly sent me.
I’ll level with you guys, all of a sudden, “injurious wedgie” is sounding a lot less funny.
The attorney for the water slide complainant, Alan Wagner, argued that “The Slide carries with it specific risks about which Disney knew or, in the exercise of reasonable care, should have known”.
“These risks are not disclosed by Disney to its guests and were not disclosed to Ms. McGuinness.”
Wanna know the worst part?
The alleged water slide incident happened while Emma was celebrating her 30th birthday, per HuffPost.
Happy fkn birthday…
If you’ve had your fill of tortuous water slide content for one day, try this next article on for size.
In 2021, about 500 miles west of Rio de Janeiro, a cow that was reportedly “destined for the slaughterhouse” managed to escape its grizzly fate and wander on over to the Nova Granada hotel.
Specifically, the pool slide.
Header image stockstudioX via iStock.