Pls Enjoy The Tale Of This Cow, Who Escaped A Slaughterhouse & Ended Up On A Hotel Water Slide

cow slide

It’s almost the weekend, which makes it the perfect time to talk about big ol’ cows dragging themselves down water slides. Truly this is the kinda stuff that keeps us going.

About 500 miles west of Rio de Janeiro, a cow that was reportedly “destined for the slaughterhouse” managed to escape its grizzly fate and wander on over to the Nova Granada hotel. Specifically, the pool slide.

Somehow, the monsieur of moo managed to find himself on a water slide at Nova Granada. I have so many questions about how the cow managed to not only get through the gates of the slaughterhouse, but also bypass a whole bunch of traffic and somehow enter the hotel. What a fkn genius. What’s his secret?

The video of this special bovine buddy was posted to YouTube by Brazilian outlet Diário da Região, and is going viral for the fact that the cow (very slowly) makes his way down the slide, before planting himself in the last corner before the water.

According to Travel + Leisure, the slide was constructed to hold a total of 450 pounds (or just over 200kgs), but our cow friend over here sits at a whopping 700 pounds (317kgs). Shout out to the slide, that’s some pretty impressive construction.

And now for my favourite part of this whole story.

After going viral for being caught on the hotel’s water chute, the owner of the cattle ranch has decided to keep our friend here as a pet, and has reportedly given him the name Tobogã, which is Portuguese for “Slide.” Everybody say hello to Slide the Steer. Hehe.

There really isn’t much else to report about this wholesome-ass cow on a slide, so I guess all that’s left to do is watch the video on repeat and try not to lose it at the sound the slide makes as Tobogã goes down.

Pure comedy, I love it. More cow content please, universe.