Budgy smugglers have become synonymous with bad things as of late.
When I say things, I mean Tone.
we are uncomfortable too
In what I’m hoping will be a rightful return to the upper echelons of swimwear society, the tog label’s annual search for Australia’s Most Ordinary Rig is back to celebrate all manner of average sacks and cracks.
While everyone is encouraged to get involved in the competition, the brand has outlined a strict range of criteria:
– Should look like they could have been good at sport at some point in their life, although were most likely prevented via injury or robbed by selectors early in their career.
– Must be capable of launching a child from their shoulders several metres in a swimming pool.
– Should look like they can still run for a taxi and swing an axe
– Bonus points for likes/shares on social media as well as a description of the exceptional ordinaryness of the person pictured.
The competition is primarily social media-focused, with hopefuls urged to upload photos of their heavenly man curves to Insta and Facebook with the hashtags #OrdinaryRigAU and #BudgySmuggler.
There have already been some strong entrants, including this in-your-face crotch shot which I’m tempted to put a trigger warning on:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BXwNnK4lKTa/?hl=en&tagged=ordinaryrigau
This striking young chap in a pair of pizza-themed trunks:
And I’m also using this article to nominate my own father. Despite the fact that he literally is a dad, the sheer lack of effort he puts into maintaining some semblance of muscle tone and fitness is astounding:
The top ten men as judged by Budgy Smuggler will be flown to Sydney with a mate to take part in a “Gala event” at Sydney’s swanky The Ivy pool, where the 2017 winner will be crowned. He will take home ten pairs of custom Budgy Smugglers, emblazoned with his face / body, as well as the priceless glory of being undeniably mediocre.
While it might sound counterintuitive, the competition is all about body positivity and acceptance, and anyone with a six pack (on their body, not in their hands) who enters will be automatically disqualified.
May the most ordinary rig win.
